Jesus, this only took her one weekend?

I find it obnoxious too, but let's not kid ourselves- her holier-than-thou proselytizing is exactly why DWTS cast her, not for her childhood stardom. Her finger-wagging morality is the story arc they wanted and she's obviously happy to oblige.

The Most Popular CEOs Are Mostly White Men

For some reason, this is my favorite.

"I want some help/To help myself," Kurt Cobain once sang. But apparently he never got it, because he shot himself in the face.

His use of the phrase "a phone with the Internet" suggests that he is not all that current on a lot of issues.

This is sublime.

ditto.

Good eye. That alone made it 15% more funny to me.

Periods are a perfectly natural element of the human experience, not a blood-soaked nightmare from whence we can never wake.

This should have way more stars. Also, Peter Allen's shirt should get its own billing.

PETA makes me roll my eyes a lot, but I think they are still quite few rungs below SeaWorld on the evil hierarchy.

Absolutely. If we can legalize gay marriage in my lifetime, surely we can get this done.

uh, this is an interesting make up job. is she wearing a mask of human skin?

Kelly (the one whose profession was literally listed as "Dog Lover")

well, but, he's a runner.

was just thinking the same thing