Aww....

@SouthernSatine: Sal and Michael Tolliver would be the perfect couple.

Ladies, I give you Idris Elba, doin' Da Butt at the 9:30 Club.

@VermilionSparrow: Yeah, so did I. And if I were her, I'd have done it.

@emfish55: Yep. He's a prize, that one.

Dodai, you are my shero.

@Scoldy Lox: OMG, hearting you for that!

@la.donna.pietra: We could mash it up with "Tales of the City." It would be divine!

@AnnaBanana: Well, he got the TOOL part right, at least.

Here are my recommendations, comments and suggestions as a motivational tool for you to succeed in life.

I love this man!

@LatestBy: "an entire sensation?" I don't get it.

@msAnthrope: All true, but I honestly do wonder if he's talked about it with her much. And anyway, if he's in his mid-50s and has been celibate for 4 years, that still means he hasn't known about or used lube for the first 30-40 years. I'm seriously doubting that it was never needed before...it's just that he never…

@MsPipCheerio: Exactly, which is depressing.

@MsPipCheerio: Right. I think age is probably the main contributor to his ignorance. I wonder if he's discussed all this with his lady friend? Lots of people that age simply don't, either because they're embarassed or because they feel it's not important for them to know the female perspective.

Having read the letter, he seems to be assuming that althought his celibacy involves "self-satisfaction", hers doesn't, so her ladyparts must be all cobwebby and rusted.

@sportz.star: Straight outta Real Housewives central casting.

@Pandorasvoicebox: That's what I thought when I saw it. Lehenga, right?

Also, Orientalism is so 19th century...

@bluebears: My thoughts precisely.