The thing I thought of that hasn’t been suggested is Jet. It’s a shorter version and is very different from “Bridge” so that might help people remember not to call you Bridge.

You are amazingly thoughtful. It’s really lovely to see someone so concerned about the comfort of her fellow partygoers.

I mean, it’s in the Bible. That’s why Noah had to bring one male and one female of everything. It’s not like any animals have trouble mating when there is just one male and one female. Like rhinos, for example.

Don’t feel bad! She looks like she was just posed weird. So it’s not a “her” thing, it’s more like a “wtf Lifetime” thing.

Obviously the pre-comma part of each of those sentences is a complete falsity. Why don’t you tell the truth for once. I mean, if you live in Chicago you clearly never lived in New York City. And everyone knows pepperoni and sausage are mutually exclusive toppings. They are diametrically opposed.

First I was like “who is going to buy just B’s and R’s?”

Isn’t it 19th century? So why is Mozart even invited?

Kurt Weill 4 lyfe

I did! I actually learned that from American Ham!

Also I love your picture! I watched one of his shows once and told my friend about a part where he talks about making cards for Megan Mullaly. Said friend makes me two cards per year every year, and my birthday card that year was based on that. I think it wash in American Ham.

Curse that misleading Protestant media!

I think that is almost exactly how it was phrased in the apocryphal Gospel of Saint Thomas. If only that book had remained canon, we all would have seen this coming.

This will never stop being hilarious. Did you also know that Benedict was way into exorcism and made training exorcists a priority?

Fury Road Mad Max, though, right? Otherwise I am skeptical of your taste.

Oh gods yes. But thanks in case I really didn’t know. You definitely would have prevented future embarrassment.

This happened? Does this show stream on Netflix?

Like Beatrice Arthur and Betty White on the Golden Girls. It seems like most people still don’t know that was a thing. And that show ended a few years ago. You know, like three or four years ago.

I would probably write like that because it is frakking hilarious.

I thought he meant it would look bad on a woman with hips only and no boobs? Still weird, obviously.

Is the dollar dance still a thing?