I'm just glad she didn't mistake me for Aziz Ansari.

if you can get over a physical thing you may not like, please respond with physical things about you so i can pick the hottest one.

He's a self-loathing height supremacist.

TWIST: the lucky lady he picks is riddled with Ebola. Should have asked for a medical record, sucker!

then consider responding with your picture and height.

You have heightism! Send a picture and your height.

I'm also 5'4", which is why I am single.

I can't win this contest obviously but wanted to throw in my scary story, for your amusement and holy shit pleasure:

Isn't that an oxymoron?

I'm so naive sometimes, lol. Why would anyone make up a story on the internet? Especially a scary one?

This is why I never go any where or do anything.

Thanks! Been waiting years to share this but I had to get the OK in case it was still "classified" somehow. Honestly the most terrifying part was hearing this story told in-person, because my husband is the world's worst storyteller and it takes an hour for him to relay anything so I was sure it was going to end with…

WHY DO PEOPLE HAVE SAD CLOWN PIKCHERZ???

WHAT.

Totally a bear.

I'm always searching for a scary story for these and I finally remembered one! It's not paranormal, but still was scary for me. As a kid, I took my Dorothy barbie into the bath- and she was the talking kind so it ruined her. I was afraid to tell my mom I wrecked my barbie she bought so I threw her outside my window.…

My husband is out of town this weekend, and the last thing I should do is read these while I'm alone. So I will be reading every single one, obvs.

I was scrolling and saw the word "goat man" and knew I should've stopped but I didn't and this is all my own fault and also how are you alive that is terrifying