This made me giggle like, well, Nick Offerman.

I love this man. He could read the phone book and I would call it art and listen attentively.

We don't have to give everyone a trophy for everything, but we could, y'know... not be a bag of buttholes to them.

It's just one of those things I won't ever understand, like which way to swipe my credit card.

awwwww, hamburgers !!!!

Never in the history of commenting, has the ability to post an eyeroll gif been more sorely missed.

She's going to make me go to church and I'm not allowed to cry? This sounds like the worst relationship ever.

I put way too much syrup on my waffles for anything to be compartmentalized. This simile falls apart in the phase of prolific syrup users.

BUT WHAT IF THE SMELL AND VISUAL PREFERENCES ARE REVERSED?

Actually, this isn't even one. Because Witherspoon molested a child pre-transition. Witherspoon has only been in the news in relation to bathrooms because of a controversial ticket for merely being in a women's bathroom. You know what was going on at the time of the complaint and ticketing? Hand washing.

OMG you found ONE!!!! WOW! Are you pleased with yourself?

ugh i don't even have anything darkly witty to say. too much darkness and heartache. this is too correct and relevant.

To paraphrase a co-worker of mine: "NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR CONSTRUCTION WORKER GIRLBONER."

This auto-gendering is just bizarre. The worst part is, it's all adults imposing these values on their kids. Like recently, when I found out the McDonald's TMNT toy was considered a "boy toy." Sure glad no one informed tinySlayder that she wasn't allowed to like the Turtles - I would have missed out on years of fun…

His Twitter is gold RE Ferguson. This particular tweet was my favorite (said in response to some racist who tweeted at him):

Fantastic statement from Jesse Williams. I'm bi-racial, but can say that I've never really been harassed by the cops in my lifetime. My brothers however? Dudes can't move two feet without a policeman stopping jus to "check-in". This shit is real, and it would be lovely for large parts of the country to open their…

Seriously. If you know what "stay woke" means, Kara's use of it is incredibly powerful. If you're complaining about "stay woke," you're showing your ignorance.

I AM WHITE AND AM CONFUSED BY THE VERNACULAR IN THIS PIECE. IS THIS A GOOD PLACE TO ASK ABOUT IT?