With regard to Philip Wellman, I think it ceases to be an authentic meltdown when you consciously start executing pre-choreographed moves to get laughs and make sure you end up on SportsCenter.

You are fighting the good fight here. Thank you for that. A lot of derp in this thread...it's nice to see someone confront it eloquently and even-handedly.

‘’You know in your heart what motivates you to want to make that comment’. That was so succinct, and accurate. Very well put, thank you.

Assuming each pitch is an out.

He should love tit once he gets settled in

It’s not politically incorrect to say he’s a marginal pro football player. But your colors show through pretty clearly when you seem to have such an extreme need to point it out.

Maybe they moved him to linebacker, and when he asked which one, they confused him by saying, “Play the Will, Mike Sam.”

What’s a GM supposed to do?

OH NOW CAITLIN HAS NO VALUE AS A PERSON EITHER, YOU TRANSPHOBIC PIECE OF SHIT!???!??!

Bunch of morons. It’s Hermaphrodite Pitcher Makes Debut.

You should have saved this one for the “Tell us about the most poorly planned family outings you’ve ever had” submission call.

You’re doing a heckuva job, Jackie!

Legal analysts feel that Ray was quite fortunate to avoid a charge of accomplice to hamburglary.

When it comes to font jokes, the journey is the reward.

At last, video evidence that 2:24 is faster than 2:26.

How dare you denigrate handjobs like that.

With respect, the ball was in play. So maybe she was hit because she was, y’know, watching every play. With respect.

I spent years wasting time trying to organize threesomes, until my current partner and I started sleeping with other couples. Now threesomes? Forget it. So much drama, so much planning, so much handholding, and someone always feels annoyed or left out. As long as you’re the kind of dude who isn’t freaked out by being…

You guys laugh, but he laid down a perfect sacrifice gunt to put a runner in scoring position in the fifth.

Oh, come on now. Don’t play favorites. All of the thoughts you conveyed were equally unimportant.