That chair be pregnant with ballerina twins.

You build iPhones.

A Chicago club full of bad decisions...it wasn't run by Jerry Angelo by any chance, was it?

Yeah but you very sensibly zeroed in on the exact issue at the center of the case, on which the jury's position determined the validity of his defense. Ari's creeped out about people who want him in jail because he's at least broadly culpable for a situation. And maybe pointing that out right away is a little tone…

Oh bah with that line about protecting property at all costs. I don't like guns, and I don't like SYG, but I'm sympathetic to castle doctrine. Wisely interpreted, this can protect vulnerable people. Don't break into my fucking house.

Relevant:

We can do without your insufferable foodie-ism.

Whatever, at least 60% of the time I buy cage-free.

Ugly baby on your hands? NO PROBLEM. A little olive oil and ten minutes in the broiler, and your dinner guests won't even tell the difference.

I know. My hypothetical was outlining what would happen under our friend's innovative legal doctrine.

That's silly. If some kind-of authority figure warned you against berating some guy, but you did anyway because you were angry (maybe the dude swore at your toddler!) and then he pulled a knife on you, and them you killed him in self-defense, you'd go to prison.

Depends if the jury thinks you fear is reasonable.

You can't seriously deny thar his head, when rolled and tossed, looks like it would make a delectable pizza crust.

Why do you consistently write uninsightful, manichean comments that read like lyrics from a Wesley Willis song?

How about banning all guns? That's really a solution.

That's ridiculous. There's no way he can swivel his doughy head around that far to look over his shoulder. Florida juries can't acquit him of violating the laws of physics.

Now I understand why Lake Wobegon's high school sports teams are known as the Fightin' Footlongs.

The obvious winning answer is to reference Jumbo the Tufts elephant getting killed by the train to save the baby elephant, or whatever that was.

From here on out, everyone will have to take their shoes off while passing through any UC campus.

This "special interest" trope is overhyped. The system contains the people it does mainly because it provides a political power subsidy to areas containing demographics unfriendly to progressive causes, and because the liberal base is denser, resulting in fewer representatives. Blaming Obama for his inability to pass…