My business ShipYourEnemiesToAbuDabi.com got shut down and three of my employees got arrested for kidnapping. Go figure.

Yet my online business http://shipyourenemiesspiders.com/ languishes.

darn it, the min when i wanted to send it to somebody...ok a few people...

wtf is a fitzwilliam

I refuse to believe that.

It makes damp miserable horseback riding look almost romantic.

Just for the sake of comparison:

he hit on me. It was a moment that was either awesome or terribly disturbing

LOLLLL. Asking a friend's parents to drive you somewhere is TOTES THE SAME as asking a friend's parent to take you to prom and then blasting pictures of her in a bikini on Twitter to see if you could really get her to do it.

Wait till he bottoms out and finds God, then you're gonna see some real fucking entitlement.

Why have I never had any friends with hot dads? Life has cheated me.

Was his best friend named Stacy?

What I don't understand is, what is "close to home?" Do they have some sort of personal history with gang violence? How does that excuse hit close to home? This sentence makes no sense.

You know, I like to think I've seen a lot of things, visited a lot of places, lived a hell of a life. But then I read this, specifically the bride firing a shotgun from a pickup truck, and suddenly I come to a sobering realization.

"To automatically to be lumped into that category of a gang... that hits a little close to home for us, because that isn't our intent at all," Strobl said.

Seriously though, frat boys are like cockroaches, you get rid of one, and there's ten more in the shadows ready to fuck shit up.

Haunted by frat boys sounds horrible, actually. Imagine all the late night "WHOOOOO!" noises you'd have to contend with. From beyond the grave.

I had a live-in boyfriend for a while. He works like 15 hours a week and more often at night while I'm a 9-5er too (45-50 hrs a week more like). I'd always get so upset coming home after working 9 hours to a fucking wreck with his shit everywhere and mud caked on my SEVENTEENTH CENTURY ORIGINAL HARDWOODS. After he…

When the revolution comes, report him and have him sent to the reeducation camp.

I'm not unemployed but I find I do a shit ton of housework on my days off, especially week days off (I work a 9-5 so I usually do not have weekdays off) while my boyfriend plays video games. It's always been kindof fascinating to me. I worked a few days between Christmas and New Years and I kept coming home hoping the…