I used to work at an "Italian" restaurant which I won't name—rhymes with "Shmolive Garden"

Damn, and the dog is even black. :(

Oh my god it gets funnier every single time

Honest to Blog I find this shit extremely hilarious. Truly one of the more awkward things I've ever seen. I am guessing "high as fuck" and "not supposed to be in NoLA"

Yeah this story seems like it would only be gross to someone who's grossed out by the idea of eating seeds.

"...glad she's alive" No joke! G.I. track obstructions can be fatal.

All of you are terrible. Texas must really be doing a number on your biology textbooks. Damn.

I like how he specified that it's throbbing. That's important.

A gif is like a drawing, right?

OK, Jezebel writers, can we make a pact please: if Tom Hiddleston ever marries I DO NOT WANT YOU TO TELL ME, EVER, DO YOU HEAR ME????

HAHAHAHA

I never knew how much hope I had that we'd end up together until I just lost it.

*sigh* I suppose I can and should be happy that he's happy. Heck, I got married and didn't wait for him, so what was I expecting? I don't know. But I have had a lasting crush on JGL since childhood.

Nope, this is DEFINITELY a case for Castle. Shit, the place is even CALLED Spa Castle.

I'm a little freaked out by this, but not enough to stop going there.

OMG, the dead man had her toe?!?

come to boston. there is a place near me that has the fucking best 'american' chinesefood i have ever had. it's fucking fresh. none of it is greasy. it isn't too heavy. it is the beeest. take out is great, but it's also super great and divey which is also so fun.

Also, a little bit of fake-it-til-you-make-it isn't as bad as it sounds when it comes to sex. As Frank Kermit mentions, "If you want to protect the monogamy of your relationship, make the effort to sexually satisfy your partner, or risk pushing your partner away."