If you could just do things the way they’re supposed to be done, we’d all be happier.

My wife folded my shirts in sixes. I said one day I preferred nine squares. It fits better in drawers. Now if I'm lucky, she'll fold it in four squares to prevent wrinkling. In case you were wondering, there was a fight.

You can’t possibly be married. Logic, reason, and accountability do not exist in women. My wife fucking hates that I don’t cook dinner or do the dishes. You know what gets her even more pissed off than that? When she comes home and finds out that I grilled myself a fat steak and cleaned up after myself. She has to…

“Oh, okay, sure honey I won’t pack your lunch tomorrow so you can eat at Chipotle WITH THAT WHORE MARISSA FROM ACCOUNTING! THAT’S WHO YOU’RE FUCKING ISN’T IT?”

I remember those relationships where I actually tried to maintain an “open line of communication” complete with “honesty”.

Those were the worst.

Ah, but what if YOU are the horrible person?

As a woman who really enjoys feeding people, and naturally especially family members, I have to say that this response is the correct response. If you don’t appreciate that shit, it is likely to go away. Not immediately, but there’ll come one day when she thinks, “Eh, I don’t really feel like doing this today, and he…

I admire your high moral fiber while pitying your naivete.

I love this thread! Full of such useful knowledge!

But I would either be of the camp to A.) Keep your mouth shut and don’t mention a word or B.) be honest and polite, but cautious (e.g. “The sandwich was great today, dear; but if you toss one in next time, could you hold the mustard? I’m trying to keep my sodium down”…

I remember those relationships where I actually tried to maintain an “open line of communication” complete with “honesty”.

Those were the worst.

You’re wrong. Pitch the lunch & go to Chipotle and don’t say a word. Successful relationships are built on white lies and extra queso.

That’s not how any of this works.

That’s a solid ending sentence. I would have immediately 86’d the salsa and then just eaten the chips.

Fucking hilarious comment.

But if you throw it out you damn well better look into that lunch bag to see what she packed, lest you get home and she asks what your favorite part of the meal was.

This. Once, my GF filled up my water bottle while I was in the shower (we have opposite schedules), and even though it’s a wide-mouth Nalgene, she didn’t put any ice in it, just whatever room-tempish cold water came out of the faucet. I mentioned it to her when I got home, and now I fill up my own goddamn water bottle.

You eat the lunch your wife packed at like 10 a.m. then still go get your burrito. Or eat the burrito and throw the lunch away and never mention it. But you don’t, under any circumstances, risk fucking that situation up, you moron.

Thanks for that. I legitimately thought they misspelled Dennis Rodman’s last name.

For those wondering about the firefighter hats and who Rodeman is, he was a firefighter/marine/great person who was run over and killed while collecting money for muscular dystrophy recently. It’s a murder that truly shocked the Lansing/East Lansing community. It’s nice to see so many Spartans out there taking a…

Is that guy holding a picture of the girl standing next to him?