A few years back, I hadn’t got enough sleep and burned my boss for daring to talk to me before having any coffee. He said “I’m not heavy today”, which I misunderstood as “I’m not happy today.” I responded with “I don’t care if you’re happy.” He corrected me by saying “No, I said I’m not heavy today.” I responded to…

Yay! The men in the shorts will run back and forth for 2 hours and then spend another hour playing grab fanny over what amounts to 4 points in free throws! Can’t wait to be bored out of my mind by that!

Right. On the 3rd point, try to imagine that I don’t give a fuck about your dumb little tv reference.

It makes a difference. I still bartend as a side gig but I have a long chunk of my resume as a server. Servers absolutely notice when someone leaves a percentage over 20. And it really can be a make or break thing, too. Not just in terms of making the rent, but maybe your server just had a terrible table and the few…

It’s not even fair for you to keep making that reference when you know for a fact I don’t get it. Fine, fine, the joke is on me, but what is the joke? Put me out of my misery and explain it to me like a child who just wandered into the room.

Lol, it just doesn’t sound right. “Wait, the Hurricanes won the what now?”

You mean you don't find it attractive when a Big Strong Man kicks someone who is already down? As a Big Strong Man with a penis the size of New Zealand (in my own mind), I just assumed abusing someone who only makes 2.65 an hour is the quickest way to get in your pants. So, you're saying women don't like assholes, yes?

See, that's just immature stupidity. You tip your bartender well so they'll remember you and serve you first when there's a gaggle of people crowding around the bar for a drink, and if you're frequenting the same place often enough, eventually they start giving you free drinks. People who aren't penny-pinching…

Good man. I always tip at least 25% if not more. Sometimes a lot more if I enjoyed myself and had a nice night out. And it's not that I'm so benevolent I just randomly give my money away. I like knowing that my 40-50% tip made someone's day. I feel good about that, so I get something out of it too. Being nice to…

Putting myself in the date's shoes, I would notice. Adding up a tip and writing it down takes a lot longer than just scribbling a signature. I have an insane attention to detail, but on a date I don't imagine women are paying any less attention than I would. If you're interested in someone, those are the kind of…

Of all things, how in the ever-loving-fuck did our conversation from last night end up getting moderated?

I feel bad for the attractive young women in that video who somehow had nothing better to do than hang out with a bunch of boorish Leafs bros. I’m a die hard Red Wings fan and even I would not be caught dead in a room full of morons screaming at the television.

Forgot the 2006 Hurricanes won the cup. I still can’t believe that happened.

Wait, I finally read that last comment while scrolling through. You really think I was at all concerned about you respecting me, or me paying you some kind of courtesy out of respect for you? Normal people who can read and pick up on human emtions and affect and all that, would not have a hard time determining that I…

Based on everything I've said thus far, you have to be a basket case/complete fucking loser to take anything I've said seriously. You need to believe I'm angry to validate your own anger. I assure you, I am not angry.

Lol, no offense taken. Now you know my weakness though!

Listen, I am genuinely sorry I called you stupid, I was without a doubt completely rude to you. It's easy to forget (especially on kinja) that a real person is on the other end of the internet. I still maintain that hating on Pinkham is a wasted effort that will ultimately result in nothing, but I should have…

Yeah man, I'm not mad. I'm having a grand old time talking to you. Keep going, work it girl. Keep punching that keyboard imagining I care even slightly about anything you have to say. Knock yourself out.

Shrewd of you. Can we start arguing again?

Do you see how this thread is playing out?