I LIVE for breakup Facebook statuses don't you dare take this away from me.

That's a really great Jezebel story!

Oh god, no. Miracle Whip is so gross.

Is your life an adorable piece of fanfiction? If not, can I steal your life and create an adorable piece of fanfiction? (JK. Kind of.)

OMG. Your grandmother is crazy. You are a gem.

Best Christmas present I ever got: a case of the Mondays.

*ryte?*

Now-husband's family is very LDS (Mormon). He identifies as atheist; I am happily agnostic, but his family still hopes he'll return to the fold. So one year, we receive a book from his sister. This modern-day masterpiece is titled "The Crippled Lamb", and is a children's book about (you guessed it) a crippled lamb.…

The Best Gift I Ever Got:

Two years ago, from my very Catholic, very pro-life grandmother to me, her very atheist, very pro-choice granddaughter:

No, you guys. Just no. Because one year when I was 15, I got a ventriloquist dummy from my aunt. Why? I've got no fucking clue. I'd never asked for one. Never shown the slightest interest in ventriloquism AT ALL. In fact, ventriloquist dummies freak me out (thanks, Goosebumps!). She must have just seen it and "You…

I've always had a poor relationship with my dad.

Did you go out with the asshole boyfriend from 10 Things I Hate About You?

Wow. This thread is making me realize that gifts are evidently where people with personality disorders can really shine.

OH MY GOD. The headshot. Your story changed my mind. Because I have to admit I came in here all self-righteous like, "Actually, there's no such thing as a bad gift. There are great gifts and then there are gifts that aren't really to your taste but still show that someone was thinking of you and cared enough to try to…

I created a burner account because this story is so mortifying. I was in an emotionally abusive relationship, then marriage for over 20 years. No matter how I toiled and sacrificed, nothing was ever good enough, including gifts. Circumstances conspired so that I ended up jobless before a Christmas some years ago,…

If only Etsy had been around then, you could have made big bucks from those Korean ghost sweatshirts.

My best Christmas gift, was when a guy I knew, who had no close family of his own, had me stay with him. I stayed in his house until after New Years. I got to see snow, and build a snowman for the first time. He took me ice skating for the first time. He then gave me something off my bucket list, a kiss in the snow.

I used to babysit for this awesome, and really well off, family when I was in high school. The Dad was a doctor and since I was from a poor town they were the coolest of the cool with their fancy house and in-ground pool. The kids I babysat were kind of snotty, but they didn't know/realize because they're young and…

Ohh, yah, my grandma went through a phase of painting confusing things on other confusing things. She painted us sweatshirts and calendars and the like with an image that I think was supposed to be a couple of little Native American girls, but they were all wonky and looked more like ghosts from Korean horror movies.…