I feel like I have a backwards biological clock. As I get older, make more money, kids are becoming less and less something I want. For example, my bf is a bit of a planning moron, so when he finally got around to deciding he did want us to go see his parents for Christmas, our tickets cost $600. It was not the best…

I think 35 is being generous.

I’m still so young, so I’m just having fun.

Nobody has more confidence than Linda Belcher! I’m actually campaigning to make her Mom of the Year.

This article sums up well one of the real sticking points in the ever shifting debate that goes on in my head regarding having children.
Right now, NOBODY cares what I do. As a 30-something, my parents have long since given up on any hopes and dreams they may have had for me. My boss knows I’m pretty capable and…

Mark it: 9:41 AM Eastern Standard Time, December 1st 2015. The day “Let’s Pizza” entered my everyday vocabulary

We call it a War on Women precisely because assholes like you think forcing a woman to make a man wear birth control is preferable to giving her control over her own body after private consultation with her doctor.

Of course, he’s a guy who thinks we should protect our country by forcing other countries to wear our…

Why would he apologize to the adultering whore that siren songed him with her feminine wiles into betraying his family and then enticed him to punch her in the face with the devil’s liquor?

I apologize to my family and my constituents,

Thanks. I don’t know what your original reply was, but I see a lot of snark in a couple of the comments, and being someone who is white-cracker as fuck and has no actual culture whatsoever, I have *no clue how culture works.* Seriously. I don’t. I grew up in a white neighborhood in a super white area. I am white as…

Even if you don’t think this cultural appropriation, you can’t deny that this is a case of ripping off someone’s design. It was used without their permission. And that is a violation in of itself.

Is it sacred to a people and only used in certain situations? Don’t use. Are the people sharing it? Use it.

A 10 year old in my class was bleeding profusely today because he tried to sharpen his finger in his pencil sharpener to “see what would happen”. A 10 year old. With no cognitive problems. So I have zero problems believing that a kid would jam 45 of these stupid things in their hair.

Kids are stupid and it’s unbelievable how many of us make it to adulthood.

Cheesus Rice

“Joy to the world! / The cheese has come. Let Earth receive this cream! Let every stomach prepare more room. Let gouda and cheddar sing! Let mozza and feta sing! Let bri-e, let brieeee, let brie sing!”

Richard Posner is a goddamned delight.

STOP WASTING TAXPAYER MONEY ON GODDAMN BULLSHIT THAT’S JUST GOING TO GET STRUCK DOWN ANYWAYS.

Damn I loved this blog. Long may it live in our hearts and minds! Jane, thank you so much for giving me the chance to contribute; it has been an absolute pleasure.

So sorry to see you go, and I’ll be following at the Toast. I know it’s just the internet, but this blog has meant a lot to me. Beyond the funny articles and the great makeup info, the millihelen commenters are some of the most supportive, lovely internet people I’ve ever met. I think that’s a direct function of the…