This is SO fascinating—thank you for this! I bet we'd also see a ton of difference across various cities across the US... :)

I wanted the success perm to be a fixture of future episodes! So funny!

His blog is a mix of the usual conservative talking points — restrain the federal government, the Common Core is a Communist plot — and some very nice things about his family. He's also very, very anti-abortion, so much so that he tried to get a bill passed that last year that would have essentially banned the…

And it's about making sure that chicks know their place. NO SLUTS. Only sluts have abortions. PUNISH THE WHORES by making them carry unwanted children. That'll teach them. Never forget it's very much about being pissed off at women for wanting to have consequence-free control of their bodies.

A brief memo to my fellow humans:

I didn't want to do this, but he has forced me to bring out the big guns. (deep breath)

I'm going to stop defending my choices to assholes and just start using the simple but brilliant sign off "because fuck you that's why."

Empire is not a show about shadiness in the music industry. Empire is a show about a bad bitch named Cookie. The rest is just subplot for me.

I lost it when she stuck that tiny little stretchy hand to the fridge.

That smile is used to best effect as Jacob, tho

I will try! My current method is to draw a great left eye and then give myself a pep talk, "looks great, doing great. Who's reflected in that mirror? Is that Alexa Chung? Haha, funny and pretty! Just one little eye to go, You got this".

Also, raise your hand if you've ever gotten ridiculously drunk on wine or beer.

Banning demon rum is a good start, but how about the scourge of jazz music? It leads young ladies straight into temptation, and even encourages them to associate with men of other races! How does the temperance movement even stand a chance as long as our young ladies are being led astray by the dangerous, libidinous…

Wilford Brimley!

Yes but spelled/pronounced Diabeetus.

OH GOD PLEASE HELP ME!!!!

By the loook of that poor pup's face, "Save Me!" seems a good fit. Or, "You can't be serious, right?"

The woman is my goddamn idol. I mean, I still don't want to be married, but in principle I love her.