It ain’t ever gonna happen. The flying-cars thing, not the government-won’t-bother-fixing-roads-anymore thing. 

On this episode of Dystopia Today

If this is late-stage capitalism, when does it officially die?

My favorite comment on the new name was it just sounds like you’re trying to say IHOP with a really bad cold.

Unfortunately the winning guess was:

Their pizza makes me shit hot tar, so this makes sense.

In all seriousness, if flying cars even become a real thing, the government won’t even bother fixing roads and bridges anymore. And I am not saying “everyone will have a flying car!”. I’m saying “the wealthiest will have flying cars and the rest of us will be told our taxes were wasted on roads so how about another…

Once again Domino’s stands up when the Government falls down. I, for one, am enjoying our new Pizzocracy, and remind them that pineapple on pizza is delicious.

Well Domino’s tastes like asphalt anyway, so at least they’ve already got the raw materials.

I’m guessing the dominoes execs still live in Michigan. Our road are bad enough that a corporation would probably save money patching up the roads. As opposed to repairing their delivery vehicles.

Jesus...I guess that’s better than my state rep’s answer of “Just drive slower” when asked about when all the damn potholes on the local highway will be fixed. If fixing shitty PA roads means eating shitty pizza I guess I’ll do it...but I won’t be happy about it.

I thought it was going to be Ben, your dead uncle.

There are several one-legged women named Ilene who are equally disappointed in the name change.

Idiots. They should’ve just had the B be brunch. Covers both pancakes and burgers.

I was stuck getting breakfast at an IHOP in Roswell, New Mexico once. They had migas on the menu. It was delicious. I regret nothing.

One of the best breakfasts I have ever had was at an IHOP. Now, this seems very odd to hear out of anyone’s mouth, so give me a second.

SANDRA:
“Well, I... put on a hoodie that covers my face.
Then I take the 47 bus line to a library in a far-away town.
Then I open a private browser on one of their computers, and Google how I’m thinking of killing her to see what mistakes people usually make.”

They could do an entire episode where a few of the major characters have to do some overnight shifts. The night crew/shift is where the real craziness is at because no one is around.

Listen, we can all be honest and admit for once that Amy should always be with Brett and that we shall now go back to referring to it as the love that knows no name because it forgot the yellow pills this morning.