I like the Del Toro Hellboys a lot, especially the second one, but they really have nothing to do with Mignola’s comics beyond the character designs and some basic story concepts. That’s fine — Del Toro actually understands the various genres he’s playing with, unlike a lot of filmmakers, and the movies work really…

Seriously though, fucking history repeating itself. We never learn anything as a people do we?

I agree with all of this - the movie has weirdly upfront usage of stereotypes, was way more ‘shy’ about Dumbledore’s sexualitity than I thought it would be, and was downright confusing when it came to the idea of Queenie’s character embracing the obvious Nazi stand-in.

You think this is bad, wait till the second movie of the sequel series. ;)

TL;DR: all you need to know about this wall-o-text is that it starts off with this really basic logical fallacy to justify Rowling’s incredibly bad take on the history and magic of America.

To your point, I think Weir was probably “contaminated” by his Hollywood experience, just as Rowling clearly is. It’s not incidental that the first film adaptation of Harry Potter praised for being a “real movie” (The Prisoner of Azkaban) absolutely GUTTED that book.

But the actual plot of this movie - which i may remind you, literally no one forced them to write - is about a gay man and his complicated relationship with his former love interest.

No, “a black woman was the leader of US magic in the 1920s who walked and acted like she was in power? That use to be called a hanging offense.” in muggle America it would be but in the Wizarding World it wouldn’t be a thing . Why would you expect people who have had contact with such an amazing range of creatures and…

No time to read, must attack SJWs! Goal achieved! 

“...we don’t need to see Dumbledore’s gay history. Rowling didn’t include it...”

I mean, I personally think his relationship with Grindelwald is pretty important... I personally think there’s several characters whose “straight history” was way less relevant to the plot.

If Phoenixes (Phoenii?) come to the Dumbledores when they are in need, then why didn’t any phoenixes save the dude’s family from the shipwreck? Speaking of shipwrecks, that movie was one. Should have been phoenixes standing outside the theater refunding ticket prices. Finally, the guy’s name is actually Credence...…

No, nor Highlander, sadly. I was hoping Thomas Jane could appear as Christopher Lambert.

I’m motivated to rock harder when the audience are ursine.

Does it just stink of bear or is having a bear in the studio part of the process?

I’d like to imagine a scene where Brian May objects to doing the soundtrack because the script has Zarkov mention the Beatles. “Why not Queen?”

Welcome Back Otter, I love you! But we only have fourteen hours to save the Earth!

a lengthy scene where EMI executive Ray Foster (Mike Myers) explains in no uncertain terms that he will not allow such an overlong monstrosity to be released as a single

To be fair, Mercury also owned a LOT of cats...he would have wanted their reaction shots.

If the scene in the movie is as it’s described here, then it’s a faithful recreation of the real-life conversation as described by Mary Austin herself. As a queer person myself I think some consternation with that assessment is reasonable, but her relationship with Freddie Mercury remained so strong that he ended up…

FM DJs just started playing it and it caught on.