If you don’t want to be friends with somebody, don’t be friends with them.

You know, I remember most people saying that the twist that HYDRA had infiltrated the government was a cop out—a way of the movie saying “See, it wasn’t we who were the bad guys. It’s just Nazis!” But I always interpreted it as a pretty gutsy move, that they portrayed our leaders as literal Nazis and traitors. I…

Oh man, thanks for posting that. I needed my undying and totally adult and rational love of Thor to light my way this Friday. Also, Rocket’s thoroughly consistent but largely unaddressed fetish for prosthetics is one of the best details in these movie.

And yet Rocket, despite being a bloodthirsty pathological thief with a mordant sense of humor, is now a beloved children’s-culture icon.

It’s funny what we remember about baseball and how much those memories shape our recollection of a particular player or team. (It was years before I could understand why John Tudor wasn’t in the hall of fame based solely on what he used to do to the Mets in 1985 and 1986.) But I think there’s an even more fitting…

You never taken care of a 3yo huh? They will sprint away if you turn your head for 3 seconds and be gone. They will sprint towards danger or away from safety, because they’re 3 and dont know anything.

“Stella Artois! Fuck me.
I mean, say what you want about the tenets of Craft Beer, dude, at least it’s an ethos.”

“I’m not a baseball fan and don’t follow the sport”

Ok, I might have exaggerated that part a TINY bit. I’m sure it was more like three and a half. 

It should smell like feet, and taste like good cooked feet.

This is why bat flips in baseball should be encouraged.

I’m actually genuinely surprised that there’s anyone out there with access to the internet who would want to hire this guy to do PR for them. Maybe they can also get Jared Fogle to weigh in on how kid-friendly the kingdom is. 

I’m just shocked they chose Jay Paterno to write this. Was Urban Meyer busy? 

Honestly, it just doesn’t track at all.

He’s continuing the proud family tradition of “Look, I didn’t actually see what you’re talking about...”

Ex Hex is my favorite Mary Timony project.

SHARPEN YOUR FUCKING KNIVES! I think that may be the biggest thing that make chopping onions go from an art to risky hacking and sawwing at a pungent stump. I always hit the sharpener before diving in. I probably need better knives.

LOL Imagine thinking $9 amish butter was some sort of victory and not a massive grift aimed at white folk with too much money.

Third person is a piece of shit who wants the risk of an affair but the safety that if it falls apart with the affair they have the marriage to fall back on.

Saturday, March 17th. Shudder.