“Tim Tebow Saves First Base For Marriage”

“Grab it by the peak.”

There are a zillion good reasons why neither one of these people should be president, but it’s not gonna work on anyone who wants to say shit like “I live in a solidly blue state, so I have the luxury of voting with my conscience and choosing the candidate I think is best fit for the job, and that’s Dr. Stein.”

Sorry, Patrick, the correct title was “What is Alex Trebek Hilariously Shits On Jeopardy! Contestant And Her Whole Crew For No Reason”.

Barry Bonds had a reputation as a playoff choker until he didn’t. So did Peyton Manning. Point being, small sample size is all it is. I don’t believe Kershaw magically comes down with the yips in the 7th.

I teared up several times reading this - the wistfulness, loneliness - well done. It makes me wonder with everything being online if these type of stories will soon disappear altogether.

I imagine it’s because they want you to walk down a separate aisle and make a spontaneous purchase. If you could just get in, grab what you want, and get out, you would never buy the unnecessary bag of chips, dog food, or light bulbs.

Obama is so handsome. Not just by comparison, but goddammit. It’s like putting a glass of French wine next to a half empty PBR that’s mostly backwash.

When doing self-checkout at the grocery store, do you bag each item after you scan it, or do you set the items aside and bag them all as a group when you’re done with the whole batch?

the song is catchy as shit tho

He was killing me on Friday. He looks at two pitches, belt high, right over the plate, then swings at the third pitch in the dirt to strike out. Ripping my hair out.

Sure sure sure. And with memories of this team kicking the ball around the infield in Game 5 in 2012 still lingering, I am glad the Nats have a solid defensive shortstop.

[gives you a bigass hug]

I’m assuming Democratic Trump is exactly as bad as this Trump. And I think this Trump is demonstrably worse than 2o04 Bush. Even with Iraq and all the rest. And I hate 2004 Bush with a passion.

Regardless of how this all turns out, I hope people will always remember that, in 2016, the Republican Party was faced with a difficult dilemma.

May I ask why it matters? Bill Clintom served two terms already and is not currently running for president.

My takeaway: Grown men should not call themselves “Billy” — or “Bobby,” “Jimmy,” “Joey,” Petee,” “Ricky,” “Johnny” etc. — unless they are associated with the Monkees, the Ramones or professional baseball.

Although he didn’t get a lot of run support, Scherzer was 12-6 in early August when Strasburg was 15-1. It’s not really true or fair to say the 14-K game was Strasburg’s career peak to date. Those 15 wins were important. Obviously, he got hurt — again — but between August 2015 and August 2016, I’m not sure there was a…

That’s the only one of the 1453 words I typed that I remember, and I think you’re with me, SD9/11. I stand by it! In fact: Papelbonvoyage!™ 

*Correction: A previous version of this article said Stephen Strasburg had 13 strikeouts in his Nats debut. He had 14.