Oh man, tomato jam is the food of the gods. I usually describe it as ketchup forgrown-ups. It’s spicy and sweet, but doesn’t have the vinegary aspect (though the acidity from the tomatoes still helps cut the fattiness of the meat. It’s good on everything... burgers, country ham biscuits, egg sandwiches, and almost…

It was something like that... wish I remembered for sure.

I seriously don’t understand the people that can’t work a remote control. I have a two page set of written instructions to leave on the occasions that my mother in law watches the kids. Is the concept of an “input” button really so foreign to people?

Thank you for responding to them so I don’t have to.

I’m not going to lie... in college (abt 15 years ago) I borrowed a buddy’s lap top; and I could not find the fucking power button forever. I mean, it took looking for the damn thing for like half an hour spread out over several attempts. In fairness to myself, I was almost certainly stoned out of my mind, but the…

Ketchup is highly overrated. It’s mildly good at best, and really the only food it’s not actively bad on are cheap burgers and hot dogs. It just doesn’t do much for me, and I’d rather eat fries with nothing but a little salt on them than slather them with ketchup.

Glacier for the win.

Or the last one apparently:

I also get that Harambe jokes, despite the omnipresent threat of being run into the ground by unfunny people, are inherently funny.

Ha... but nope, there’s more sides to Philly... she’s from the shitty, big ass mall side.

As someone who married a girl from outside of Philly, this is beautiful.

I saw this list and clicked on it thinking “if Calvin and Hobbes isn’t number one, and Far Side isn’t number two then I am going in the comments and mocking the crap out of Girl Nathan” (I know that’s not his name, but it’s all I can see when looking at the byline).

Why would I want to carry a fucking bag around? I have watched my wife dig through her purse looking for shit and I want no part of that. Carry a fucking bag... god-damnit, avoiding that shit is why we have pockets in the first place.

I have the same list for the same reasons. I don’t even care about putting two things in one pocket, it’s about the fact that the only pocket that can comfortably hold a glasses case is the cargo one.

Prescription sunglasses are the main reason I like to wear them too. Who wants a fucking glasses case in one of the hip pockets.

For most peppers I think gloves are kind of silly... but I do have a story that supports the wearing of gloves.

Hmm... I swear last time I reloaded it, it said it was in beta, but maybe I signed up to be a beta tester once and forgot. I’m a real good tech user :-).

This... and they still call Maps a beta product.

This whole story, and not one mention of Dole Whip. That/those stands are the only thing about the whole Disney experience that truly make me happy.

I don’t know... I’m usually for some off-color humor, the cruder the better, but: