Cool bro! Put that on your adult resume!

Anyone that dresses like that on a plane deserves to be murdered by their girlfriend.

Thanks for linking to them.

This is a great story. Thank you for these wonderful words.

CBS leads in two demographics: grandparents and people that love the shittiest tv shows available to them.

You're witnessing the beginnings of a serial killer here, folks.

More like Hacky Zach, AMIRITE?!

This clearly didn’t follow the form and rhyme scheme of the first verse. Either this kid is a lyrical genius when it comes to meter and tempo or he’s a fucking idiot. I’ll let you decide.

New Glarus is overrated. I live in Chicago and swear people obsess over it primarily because they have to grab a couple sixers before returning from their trip to Lake Geneva. Wisconsin has better beers than New Glarus.

Dear sweet Karma.

Anyone else experiencing trouble with the pre-order? Amazon isn’t showing the discount in the final checkout stage... is there a promo code I’m missing?

Anyone else experiencing trouble with the pre-order? Amazon isn’t showing the discount in the final checkout…

Whole new level of respect for Stan.

....I graduated the University of Iowa with an English degree. I know exactly what you mean. At least my emails are solid, right....? *cries uncontrollably into my library book*

Assuming those 28 weeks are equivalent to a 40-hour work week, then you’d complete your police training in 1120 hours - 380 hours, or just shy of 10 weeks less than a cosmetologist.

Who gives a fuck.

God, you’re the worst. No one gives a shit.

I was legitimately concerned i would throw up my lunch if I didn’t quickly scroll past his picture.

Yeah. I just don't understand his rationale with trying to hide it in the first place - he probably wouldn't have gotten any attention of he came forward with the actual story. He is V dumb. Sigh.

Agreed.

He’s famous for doing well in the Olympics 4 years ago, being good looking, and then looking like a total ass on some horrible reality tv show for a year or something.