But it does involve a Deadspin

Referring to a member of a minority group as if they represent all members of said group is dehumanizing.

Wait, people actually want this 6th grade kid's name added to the recent publication??

bassguitarhero's all-purpose guide to life: Are you going to do a thing? Have you spent more than 3 seconds thinking about it? Have you thought about it from literally anybody else's perspective other than your own?

You missed one:

Duh! Red herring!!

Commonly asked questions, and answers from those of us with bifid uvulas:

I have a graduate degree in feelings! It is like the one thing I CAN do!

I wish. Bless the maker and his water.

Hollywood actresses: We need more movies about women and PoC.

I didn't say we "beat" the Nazis. I said we obliterated them. I didn't say we were alone in it. I just said we were really good at it. We burnt the most beautiful city to the ground. Who did that? We did. And the Germans should be thanking the Russians, the English, French, and Polish for saving them from the nuclear…

Well, what the Americans lacked in aquatic Nazi sinking, they more than made up for in the ability to firmly obliterate the terrestrial and avian Nazi menace. Fuck yeah? Fuck yeah.

Because one party believes in science, the other in fiction.

Only Brad Paisley is allowed to suck at a Brad Paisley concert!

I would read the fuck out of a book about werecorgis.

If you want your therapist to make suggestions, you should be in some form of cognitive-behavioral therapy. Not all psychodynamic therapists are the same, but most are VERY nondirective and won't tell you what to do. CBT, on the other hand, is all about being directive through homework assignments, goals, and…

if your wife wanted to do butt stuff, you would've done it.

She actually sounds pretty reasonable.

Fuck the underdogs, this is a dream semifinal. Netherlands vs. Argentina (rematch of 1978 WC Final) and Brazil vs. Germany (8 combined World Cups).

1993 Style: Off the shoulder, lace bodice, with a straight, ivory silk dupioni skirt, and detachable cathedral-length train. I love that dress and my daughter has already asked if she can wear it too. I think it's held up pretty well, style-wise. I paid $800.00.