I think I'd schlitterbahn my swim trunks.

For me an own goal needs to be a mistake by the defender. I'd rather an attacker get credit for a lucky goal than a defender punished for an unlucky bounce.

I went through four years of not-that-sexy teen drama at Oak Ridge High. I'll pass.

Don't you mean Calculon?

I agree. Why does it have the same grade as the one with "Now that she's back to her sexy self, Jessica Simpson is ready to complete her fairy-tale family with Eric Johnson and baby number three!"

Why is yoga being fun so bad? I mean, to me, she seems like she's having fun and exalting in all the fun shit her body can do. Fun pretzel-stuff is a great side effect of yoga. Its not ALL of yoga, and its not integral to the experience, but trust, yogis in India have been exhibiting the physical manifestations of…

Some people are super tiny and that's fine. I just wish 90% of models weren't just that one body type. I love websites that show customer galleries so you can see what clothes look like on other people. Like Modcloth!

i

I have to say: I never, ever understood what it really meant for something to be "triggering" until I started following this incident, tried to read Rodger's "manifesto," and learned more about the conversations/cultures on these forums.

GAWKER MEDIA, LET ME BE YOUR CHAMPION.

If Gawker wants to sponsor me I will complete this challenge so you can rub it in Buzzfeed's faces.

First off: Joe the Plumber is still a thing? Like, has no one told him that 15 minutes is not supposed to last seven years?

In a stunning turn of events, Baby Boomer White Man makes it all about him.

Kansas City's 17-story water slide (the tallest in the world) opened up its pipes for a few human test runs, then immediately closed as the riders were LAUNCHED INTO THE AIR.

I've had breast implants. Twice. The first time because I've always loved big ol titties and I wanted my OWN big ol titties. (after having my first kid, my sorta kinda little titties turned into pretty much little old flappies) I had them redone a few years ago when one of them deflated (a known issue, so they…

Thanks for this. I love the way I look now, and plan to go gray and embrace my wrinkles when the time comes and be a hot old dame and all that jazz, but the second age starts to meld my chin and neck together, I'm getting that shit tucked, zero fucks given.

Moyes promptly finished in seventh place in the bar fight.

"We want to be an ageless, raceless, weightless agency."