“Like HELL I’m sitting through the reception with wet foundation garments”

I love the girl on the far right who’s just like NOPE BYEEEEE the minute she sees trouble with the dock

We nixed the bridal party specifically because it WOULD hurt feelings (ex. my brother’s wife is verrrrry sensitive and would have to be asked...and then would have been really sour that I would want her sister in there), because it would have easily jumped up to a ridiculously high number (I have 4 brothers and 2…

Did anyone here ever opt out of the whole bridesmaids thing? I’ve been a bridesmaid a couple times (9 bridesmaids in one-TOO MANY BRIDESMAIDS) and the general consensus is that it sucks, everyone hates it, and it’s a complete burden.

No, that’s a smile...something you’re probably not used to seeing on a woman.

I discovered something truly beautiful while I was searching for the above gifs :

Never tried to poke a baby mama. I stayed away from complicated adult stuff.

Except for the fact that said teenager and her dysfunctional family continuously throw themselves in everyone’s face with their constant self-promotion. Little chick wants to play in the big league she should be ready to take her lumps. If it was a dude I might think differently but this little girl wants to whore…

Lmao no she’s not

ALL OF THESE NAMES! who are these people! why am i so old! where did i put my glasses!

Kill: myself

Kristina Karo: Mila Kunis didn’t steal your chicken. He’s just free ranging life and shilling for Geico now. Move on.

My wife IRL.

MR. PLAY IT SAFE WAS AFRAID TO FLY

Oh no! I hope she remembered to get the D first!

Ugh...Mr. Bubble? I can just feel myself getting a UTI looking at it. When I was a kid, it was no bueno...like putting Tide in the tub.

Why, once I was chatting with my own dear mother - okay, complaining bitterly about this and that. I exclaimed "Why didn't you just strangle me at birth?" "Well, I always assumed that eventually somebody else would do it for me," she replied.

sort of related- I told my dad a few years back I was thinking that maybe I didn’t want to have kids. His response, “Yah, I wouldn’t do it again if I had the choice.”

It’s really the reaction that makes the burn. I have a tendency toward sarcasm in my classroom, and usually just the kid it’s aimed at gets it (and stops being an idiot). But every once in a while, the sarcasm is elevated to “burn” mostly by the reaction of the entire surrounding room. Then I feel a little bad.

burns are great but reactions are better