Oh fantastic!

“fair and balanced"

Grandpa would be so proud.

treat every other driver like they are trying to kill you.

Congratulations, you have earned 100 dillars from Deadspon.

Is your name, by chance, Michael Bolton? (and I’m going to need that TPS report....)

Somewhere, a ‘STICK TO SPORTS!!1!!1!’ Deadspin commenter sits in front of a computer screen, sweating, unable to move, broken.

I asked my coworker, Tim Brady, what he thought about Trump and his plans for Muslims, and he told me to get the fuck out of his cubicle. Also I’m not a reporter. Can I still have $100?

Biff Tannen for President?

Wait how’d you get access to the Gizmodo Code of Standards, they haven’t even let me see it yet.

I’m mostly just disappointed you didn’t use the full version of the lede image:

Basically. The publicity surrounding his arrest to him getting offered a prestigious scholarship.

Female leads who are the story instead of merely having a part in it.

Spaceship!

“If you gave Jerry Falwell an enema, he could be buried in a matchbox.”

Jurassic World was fun in a way that more than compensated for its flaws—it wasn’t smart, but it wasn’t too stupid.

Since I never like to miss an opportunity to shit on Jurassic World: It sucked.

The ultimate difference between Fury Road and the other two films is that Fury Road is a passion project by a single man with a single vision (and a shitload of talent). Jurassic World and Genysis were made by committee out of a desire to make money.

“Genisys showed that, sometimes, you just have to let it go.”