This took place in Florida...that is all the extra info you need.

There couldn’t have been a more appropriate finale to the year. Fuck this shit.

“That Russian aircraft carrier is under attack!”
“Negative, sir; it just does that.”
“Oh.”

There’s no room for bars and strip clubs anymore because there are taco trucks on every corner.

It’s not all farm girls in gingham dresses and shrewish, witch-like wealthy spinsters on bicycles. Well, it is, but sometimes they’re strippers.

Ever seen a Kansas stripper?

“Our culture is filled with bars and strip clubs on every corner.”

This is some good Kinja right here.

Not surprising that we would see such calculated bomb dropping from a Macnamara.

Take your star, you jerk.

Don’t you meh me fav and move along

If he didn’t want to be tackled by her, he shouldn’t have been dressed like that

Getting tackled by a girl is nothing to be ashamed of. Now getting tackled by a kicker...

I haven’t seen a female knock the hell out of someone like that since... well since last night at the debate I guess

Cotton mouth + pursed lips did it for me (my other theory: like 500 mg of adderall? Technically legal but basically the same)

You weren’t. The first thing I thought was, “What the fuck is he on?”

NO YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE WITH THE COCAINE

Howard saying Trump is on coke is like the pot calling the kettle black. And by black, I mean Negros of color. I mean, Persons of Negros. Which I have totally employed... which is totally like housing discrimination. Which totally happened. But, you know, lawyers like Barack! And we totally just settled on that…

OMFG I wanna tongue kiss Howard Dean. I thought I was the only one with the cocaine theory.