I screencap it for my blog then go weep into my ice cream as I Google Cat Lady Starter Kits because that's obviously the direction my life is going if these are my only choices.

Wait...maybe I do need that vibrating teddy bear...

gorgeous.

Smile! Because baby/honey/gurrrl, you're too pretty to look sad, and you should focus on whether or not your face is pleasing to men.

But don't smile too much, or we'll have to kill you.

I honestly think this might be my favorite story. Video games, blow jobs, hockey, and etiquette lessons all wrapped up in one vignette.

I don't know if this is the best but it might be my favourite:

I used to think that women who said they enjoyed anal sex were probably not lying, exactly, but it was like saying "I like hard candies". They're sweet and they'll do the trick but no one actively craves butterscotch lozenges.

I should not have read this at work. There is no cold shower to be had here.

I had been in a very stifling and unhealthy relationship with someone for 5 years. Needless to say, the sex was not great. We were young when we met and not experienced, and we never seemed to get it right. I was used to sex kind of hurting and it not being very exciting at all.

OK HERE YOU GO

Thank you for this. Seriously.