BIG SCANNER OUT TO GET US

I’m literally as Left as you can get—call me Communist, fine—but safe-spaces and trigger-warnings are the most fucked up, anti-intellectual, anti-liberal things I’ve ever heard of. George Orwell couldn’t have come up with better fascist props in his dystopian writing.

No, they really aren’t. You are part of the problem. Grow up

Yeah fuck you’re so called safe spaces. If you want a safe space stay at home. The real world isn’t going to pamper your hyper sensitivity.

Surely by now you know we’re all incorrigible hypocrites. Time made us that way. Do what you do, but know at some point you’ll be a hypocrite too. Xer cynicism = best cynicism.

Mmm. Intergenerational conflict. Bring on the Boomers to shake their walkers and the other Millenials to make fun of them with Snapchat filters. As a dedicated Xer, I shall dutifully express my aloofness by rolling my eyes at all of you.

oh, millenials are going to "fix" things. can't wait for that.

Oh, I am sure he will take care of that for her since she will be “nauseous” again if she has to spend the money on it.

Satan’s womb.

Wait. Hold on. Back up a second.

Honest question: did you just read every third word of the article, or only half the headline? No one is shaming Marla, and she didn’t “choose” to do it, Trump was pressuring her to. Keep holding your breath about getting to see nude photos of her though.

Oof, big mistake. Don’t ever, ever, ever, ever talk about grammar on the internet. Ever. Now you’re going to have 150 notifications from the “well, actually” set.

“He’s a grade-A coward, a sleazy punk, a slimy con man.”

“Judge Wants At Least 37 Non-Political Pieces of Flair Per Attorney, 11 of Which Must Support the Iggles”

You’re an admirable soul for rescuing your partner from his mom’s basement.

Oh shut the hell up.

For real, though, that is an incredibly dumb question.

I still don’t like the crust on regular white bread, but if that’s what my sandwich is made of I eat the crusts because I’m a GODDAMN ADULT

“Working on The View’s rebrand.”

Her cause could be "Make Marriage Great Again," essentially, "how to deep-throat your rich husband to keep him away from the other bimbos" is something she would probably be qualified to champion. It would be like returning to the Mad Men era, as far as male-female relationships, "Meet your man at the door dressed in…