I don't ...I can't even ...

Good to know there's a whole pack of martial arts trained rapists running around.

I just want to issue a big old Fuck You to all the adults in positions of authority who have enabled this to continue. The boys are at fault for sure, but you assholes could have put an end to this, and you did not. So, Fuck You.

You are aware that Reddit pulled that story from somewhere as well? You understand how the internet works and that the New Mexico field office of Reddit doesn't exist?

Not every person reads reddit every fucking day. By your logic, Reddit is simply ripping their stuff off of whatever web sites the people on Reddit link to. In summary: shut the fuck up and go back to r/*wanking motion in your face*

i'm getting tired of seeing this shit on every fucking article. not everyone on the internet knows about your seedy ass rss feeds, shut the fuck up and deal with it or move on.

Anymore I'm convinced that something majorly has gone wrong with raising kids. People tell me, "Oh every generation says that about the younger generations, but kids are kids."

It's like the Breakfast Club. Except with, you know, Teen Rapes.

When asked to name a saying he uses often, Hales responded, ''Go ahead, Call the cops, They can't un-rape you.''

Why can't they arrest any of them? They're bragging about it, ffs.

Ten bucks says he was drifting.

I had a few jokes lined up, but then I thought maybe it would be insensitive, I mean...

Imhotep to present Jalopnik with recognition award, locusts.

#ToCatchAChariot

State Police Of Egypt Calls Jalopnik To Identify This Vehicle In Hit And Run Incident

Ugh, another lifeless Rocky movie.

Thanks, Jason Torpoosky, for sharing this crappy story with us.

Diners, Drive-ins, and DIES!!!!!

That's as realistic a creation as Fieri.