I got Lindsey to make out with Nick.

I'll just leave this right here...

Yeah, I'll be in my favorite chair, not giving a fuck. If you like it, read it, folks.

Salem had to intervene on the set of Sabrina

"Both dresses are ugly."

A skinny white girl speaking out to raise attention to an issue is different than dominating it. It's better that no one say anything? OK that seems productive.

I remember the dining out experience before becoming a parent and my husband and I would have rather lost our limbs than sink our teeth into "mediocre pasta" and its many permutations. Fast forward to life with a nine-year-old and dining at Red Lobster is a fancy night out. I think these restaurants serve an…

I think both restaurants food is ok. It's not great, it's not going to change your life. But cheddar biscuits are amazing! What has kept me away is not their crappy food, it's the incredible mistreatment of their workers. Obamacare forced you to cut employee hours? I think what you meant to say was, "We're cheap…

I have to confess. I love the soup (minestrone), salad and breadsticks. I don't go every weekend or anything, but its the only thing I eat at OG, and has never disappointed me (maybe because its pre-made and only defrosted in my local restaurant, but whatever).

Yeah, middle person gets BOTH armrests. Can we all agree that two adults cannot share an armrest?

Smoking in bed when your arms aren't long enough to reach your mouth.

We need to do this with people at the airport gates who put their luggage/purses on seats when it is crowded. All these people deserve to go to hell and be publicly shamed. Yes, there are probably lots of you who do this and it is time to STOP.

One of the Jackson girls? It's JANET (Ms. Jackson if you're nasty).

Philosophy major, English minor. I feel like all I did for half of my life was read books and write papers. But what about some more modern classics? Morrison's "Song of Solomon" will always be one of my very favorite books.

I love when people tell me that they really enjoyed the Fountainhead, or I see them reading it on the train, its a convenient signal to avoid/not take seriously/just not.

Paging Lindy West. Come in, Lindy West - We're gonna need to see you eat all of these.

In which this small child is far more talented than Katy Perry.

We throw a way-too-involved-to-be-appropriate Halloween party every year. We also currently rent a house that's far too big for us (but cheap!) and insist our drunken and costumed friends stay over. This news rocks my socks and will be post-party breakfast goodness!

Still my favorite Malcom in the Middle moment. Anytime Heisenberg is too crazy for me, I think of Bryan Cranston doing this.

"Garcon! Bring me a flagon of your finest water, and then see what the folks in back will have. Water on me tonight! Water on me!"