A Very Earnest Nuclear Meltdown was not Jim Varney's finest work.

Only in Chmurica.

If history is a guide, it's likely those players will just be shuffled to another Catholic institution and continue their careers, the academic advisers will receive some hush money, and this whole thing will just be swept under the rug.

He's still got a ways to go to catch Danny Woodhead , who has been wish-trolling the media for 6 years.

When life gives you lemons in the top 5, YOU FREAK THE FUCK OUT!

They are currently filming another commercial using the same message as a PSA directed at MMA fighters.

It makes perfects sense. Sitting on half a stool is always a little awkward. You have to position yourself just right to avoid any real messiness.

Donald Sterling also was officially named World's Biggest #2

More like Downer Guardiola

Women, armed with hockey sticks, weaken legs.

It wasn't Carmelo. He wouldn't even pass gas.

His shit eating grin is perfect considering he just polished off 3 orders of skyline chili.

You think that reporter stumped? Check out Bree Walker!!1!

Can you be more specific? Type of pizza? Why they deserved it?

You're about to get executed, what is your last meal?

His waistline is just trying to keep pace with his hairline.

If anyone is an authority on dickishness, it's the penis wearing a backwards hat, completely unbuttoned giveaway green jersey, baby blue crew, and fucking sweatshorts out in public.

Bringing in the high flying WNBA style should really help quiet everyone who thinks the Spurs are too boring.

At least things are changing. Usually it's Illinois on the losing end of a one-sided Big 10 battle.

it would be a premature and unsatisfying ending