What happens in Las Vegas stays in the Southern Nevada Corrections Center

If _your_ dog poops, then pick that shit up. Bring some poop bags with you when you take your good boy for a walk. If you’re out for a walk and see someone else’s dogshit on a lawn, you have my express permission to think “What a colossal asshole that guy was” and keep walking.

I did not learn to properly use a Kleenex until I was thirteen.

“Well, this very classy goal in the Bundesliga is one thing, but I just don’t think we can ignore the importance of Jozy’s Zardes’ hold-up play.”-a weirdly large segment the vocal majority of American soccer media and probably most certainly the USMNT coaching staff and Gregg Berhalter himself.

Thanks for commenting, Mr. President!

Liberty students wish they ended up as conservative royalty. The reality is that the elites on the Right come out of Ivy institutions as well. Most of the kids unfortunate enough to attend Liberty will go work as a random teacher or insurance salesmen in whatever backwater they came from.

We will not rest until we learn the truth about how Tyler came into possession of these narcotics

Andy Reid will only coach in states with this exact structure. 

How many correct calls must we endure before this horror is banished to hell, and we can go back to complaining about refs missing all the calls before being stalked and killed by deranged passionate fans after the game, like the soccer I remember?

Watched a youtube video recently about how season firsthand where the Charges once missed the playoffs while having the #1 offense and #1 defense in the league. It was incredibly depressing.

I like to think he screams “That’s what you get!!” repeatedly at his wife after he climaxes.

I don’t think I’ll ever remember that the Chargers moved to LA. In a decade, I’ll see LAC on the ticker at the bottom of the screen and still think that the Clippers are playing the Broncos for some reason.

“Some people are fans of the Los Angeles Chargers.”

If the Chargers can’t put a decent football team around him, then damnit, Philip Rivers is gonna make one.

Unbelievably, I had to correct this from “100% TRUMP supporter” to “110% TRUMP supporter.” 

Roxanne! You don’t have to put on that red hat.

“Tsitsipas did earn his second time violation, which came with a point penalty”

Your grandpa sounds like a pretty cool guy

He looks like Tony Robbins had surgery in an attempt to look more like Casey Affleck.

This chonky cat makes me Remember late-era Andres Galarraga. Thank you for this laser focused sports content.