I’ve seen bigger

So now we know what Brady will do when he eventually retires from football — buy rum from the Cubans to keep his casinos stocked with booze during Prohibition.

“HOW IN THE FUCK AM I NOT SUPPOSED TO SMOKE WEED AROUND HERE?!”

He looks like the first person to be eaten in a Jurassic Park movie 

This makes him look like a goddamned serial killer

I refuse to believe Sidney Crosby is cool enough to do drugs. 

Disqualified from international hockey.

Pro-Tip: If you want to increase traffic, don’t call it an Oakland Athletics blog. Say it’s a very early blog about the 2022 Yankees.

Good point, Burner. She has very little experience with athletic achievement in high-pressure situations. Hard to believe you’re in the greys.

Malort is a trick we play on tourists.

“Bear Weather” is winter. Bears sleep in the winter. Stop owning yourselves with “Bear Weather” you absolute stereotypes.

I was introduced to her now to the man she cheated on with me with, then left me for, and is now her husband. Thanks to Cody Parkey, that was the second worst thing to happen to me that day.

The man was the .gif that keeps on .giffing.

I know Jay is not on the team anymore but I love this gif too much not to post it here.

The Defenechstration of Houston

“If what has happened is a memory and whats going to happen is a thought, you’re taking yourself out of right now. So in that case, every hour is happy hour”- me to a completely empty bar and a visibly uncomfortable bartender at 8am on a Tuesday

My father-in-law is a major Colts fan and he really hates the Texans. Divisional rivalries aside, I asked him why that hate was so deep. They’ve never won. He was 50 years old when they were founded. “I don’t know,” he said. And that was good enough for me.

HE HATE TEAMS

“Get in the hole” at golf events is the worst. The golfer should be allowed to beat that person with their driver for yelling that after a drive.