I had to reread the 2nd and 3rd paragraphs a couple times to make sure I correctly understood what happened.

You’re a fucking tool, bro.  

Clint Dempsey had more than just one decent season at Tottenham. He had one fantastic season at Fulham, one other pretty damn good season at Fulham and several other decent seasons at Fulham where he saw time in most all games.

“until someone innocent (maybe even a child) who just wanted to enjoy a sporting event gets caught up in and possibly injured because of your “stance.””

Guys, if we don’t consider the impact of angering the racists by calling them racist are we really being fair to the racists? I think we should let them just be racist in peace.

Alexi Lalas stuck in an impossible-to-defend position? what are the fucking odds

Counterpoint to him: The fact that just about every MLS stadium supporters section features a rainbow flag is cool as hell and nobody seems to have a problem with it. And yes, that’s still a political symbol.

Add this to the ever-mounting evidence that the only interesting thing about Lalas is that he used to have crazy hair.

the new helmet doesn’t fit right; it gives him a headache; the chinstrap feels weird; he can’t see his periphery (which makes him more vulnerable to big hits and less likely to track the ball in the air); the league’s “health and safety” initiative is bogus and just an attempt to limit liability; there’s no such thing…

“Mariner’s long hard dong caused by Tiger’s huge boner.”

I always figured jacking off into a sock was just a trope used for comedic affect in shitty teen movies, I didn’t think people actually did that--especially grown-ass adults. My mind is blown.

I witnessed much the same thing. At a Chargers away game once, around 2010, I saw a Chargers fan milling about before the game outside the stadium wearing a Ryan Leaf jersey. I had to approach and find out what the angle was, if he was wearing it as a protest or ironically.

If there’s anything I’ve learned in my relatively short tenure reading the comments here at Deadspin, it’s that if there’s a weird way to do a relatively mundane thing, people do it.

pig’s whistling asshole

Who the fuck lives alone and is actually cranking it in a sock? 

“I once paid over $200 for a Brandon Weeden signed helmet.”

Do you hear the people sing? Singing a song of 6 and 10. That is your ceiling, you forgotten, burning river town in Hell. When the beating from the Jets sets up a beating by the Rams, there’s no light at the end of the tunnel when the Ravens come.

When my friend went to Atlantic City last weekend I had him put $100 on the Browns to win the AFC Championship game. Not the Super Bowl. I’m from Ohio, I learned to temper my expectations early.

I’ve lived in Cleveland most of my life and as a young boy witnessed THE DRIVE and THE FUMBLE. When the team moved I swore off the Browns and became a Raiders fan (a separate set of issues ensued).