I can't help but think of the SNL parody (not the Armisen one...the other guy) and how literally half his impression is Obama going "Uhhhh" in that way he does where it's JUST vocal fry.

SO MUCH SIDE EYE!!!!!

Isn't being the most polite ardent racist sort of like being the nicest SS Officer?

"...but not in a military way."

You're terrible, Muriel.

It is only a true sorority channeling if you use "DOUBLE FUCKING NEWSFLASH..." Really really mean people who cannot even stand behind their convictions are the worst!

The women in my family have a tendency toward female pattern balding. That's why I've been plucking Apple's hair and adding it to my own head since she was only 9 months old. Kids are resilient.

Walking around in heels can be tough on your feet. To cut down on pedicures, I suggest being carried around in one of these:

Gwyneth's Beauty Secrets

This looks like a job for...Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer!

I'll report to our tech team! Thanks!

I thought Mike Rice coached younger girls.

Sorry, all I can think of is Snoop Dogg.

Wow. Bullets dodged, everywhere!

Yeah, I really don't get Jez's take on this. So, because a Native American tribe is involved, let's ignore both the mother's wishes for the child and the fact that the father washed his hands of her when she was born?

I just sat here with my jaw hanging open for like 10 seconds. Just when I think the definition of "unbelievable" has been exhausted...

Ahh, the mark of someone who truly believes a child is only the woman's responsibility. Gross.

But your armpits can be naturally beautiful if you buy their products, don't you see? Real beauty is naturally flawless, even skin. Everywhere! I didn't think about my pits until I saw that commercial. I'm ashamed to say I bought the deodorant out of curiosity. Then I had to think more about my pits, because…

I'm less than impressed with the " Just 'cause you have a vagina" remark in the article. My vagina has survived sexual assault, a colposcopy and subsequent radiation, HPV removal, numerous bad falls onto bicycle top tubes and has lived to tell the tale. She's a BAFF ( bad-ass fatherfucker) and respect is due, folks.…

Fuck this new layout, fuck you guys. How am I supposed to use the sight anymore? Read the comments? Its inefficient and ugly, fuck you guys!