My mother hates Donald Trump, voted Hillary, and yet she still has a soft spot for Ivanka (because she is pretty).

If they’d really wanted to piss off Velveeta Hitler they’d have cast a dude to play Ivanka.

It’s good that SNL has finally stopped pulling the punches with Ivanka. She’s playing such an active role in the Presidency that she is totally fair game.

Oh sure, NOW the republicans believe in science

What is happening is that the judge awarded Dawn shared custody rights even though she is not biologically related to the child, who is biologically Michael and Andrea’s child. Michael was fighting Dawn having shared custody rights because, if Dawn did not have shared custody, he would only have to share custody 50/50…

“a former Long Island couple and their former neighbor, with whom they had a threesome”

The judge took cues from the boy himself in making the unusual decision.

This is misleading. It’s not like three people fucked once and then fought over the custody of the ensuing child. In general usage, a threesome is an act; this was a relationship/combination of relationships.

Based on Palin’s background, are we sure she wasn’t saying “Paul Ryan and his elk?

I think you meant artisANAL beads.

It is sad. Law enforcement should use some common sense and good judgment. Ticketing cars waiting for an inspection at an inspection station is asshattery at its finest.

Not just today...

its going to be figureskating coverage all day long

If you think that is funny, Hulk Hogan is running Gawker today.

why yes we do

Just remember to put the seat back down after y’all are done today, k?

Formal request: Jezebel Foodspin post/blog/recipe