Uh... I'm pretty sure every show on CNBC is hosted by a scam artist handicapper.

Yes, because if there's anything we can learn from all this it's that rape and violence are sometimes good right? Every time there's an article about a rapist or molester going to jail some idiot like yourself chimes in IN SUPPORT OF RAPE. Do you really think that the world is somehow a better place when bad people…

I'm certainly no pro, but the biggest leap my cooking has taken recently was when I began to put serious consideration into my prep and cooking timeline. In the past I had allowed food that shouldn't be left to sit for 20 minutes before serving sit as I futzed with other details that I had put off until the end…

WHY do we need Japanese tentacle porn or Mumford and Sons or High Times marijuana centerfolds?

OH, THE TWISTING AND THE CONTORTING!!! THE TWISTING AND THE CONTORTING!!!

They're not friends, they're just co-hosting a Gawker-sponsored conference on rich white people problems.

“People are ultimately threatened by young people taking positions of power. But there’s also this feeling of I could do that, too. People don’t feel…

Bingo. It takes about a day's worth of calories to get drunk and keep a buzz going for a full night, which is why nobody I know who drinks has ever succeeded in losing weight. The exception is when you get drunk enough to vomit up the $1 slices of pizza you bought on the way home. For your health!

I'm sorry, life must be very painful for you.

No, what you said isn't true. It's no more true than saying that whites, blacks, jews, asians or latinos are ______. It's simple ignorance amplified by blood lust. Hitting people or using violence of any kind is wrong unless it's in the immediate defense of another's safety. People who don't understand that are the…

I feel sorry for you for whatever happened to you to make you this way, but you should seek help instead allowing your violent hatred to destroy you. If you think that punching and kicking people who are "out of line" is acceptable behavior you are an immature bully.

who fucking cares and why should it matter?

I could be wrong but I don't believe that there are even any state incentives left for hybrids. The federal incentives expired in 2010, but were effectively gone back in 2007-2008 when the major carmakers's allotments had mostly been reached. Electric and plug-in hybrid vehicles on the other hand are eligible for a…

Those expired a while ago.

Are you a scientist or something because I have a feeling you're a lot smarter than I am?

Take it up with my parents.

Now who's been spending too much time in the basement???

Or, as the Washington Post put it:

Thanks! Any day I can make somebody cry was a day worth living.

Fake musician "DJ Benihana Trust Fund" poses with a transitioning male-to-Cheeto surgical patient, a fake hipster and a fake actor/rapper/cop, after attending the seminar: "It's Not Okay to Be Me."