www.instantrimshot.com

Fewer testicles for better aerodynamics. 

We need a switch up, Simone Biles should play the next Spider-Man.  She does not even needs wires to get some of the more insane moves done.

Lance Armstrong — unusually long thighs (levers), somewhat enlarged heart (oxygen superprocessor). Such a shame all those natural gifts weren’t enough for him.

I’m having a hard time seeing it, even in slo-mo, but is she doing a half rotation in the millisecond between her feet leaving the springy-thingy and her hands touching the sideways horsey thingy? (I’m a gymnastics knower).

The other day I saw gravity at Barnes & Noble looking for a book on Simone Biles.

Sometimes people are just perfectly built for a sport; occasionally they are identified as such, early in life. Then some of them are incredibly dedicated at maximizing their abilities.

 I love her so much. Thanks for providing that slow motion version, because I could not understand what I was seeing, lol. 

Even in slow motion she’s moving really, really fast.

I don’t know what she did or how she did it, but how do I get a Simone Biles jersey?

If I was an Olympic level woman gymnast, I would send Simone Biles a book on gravity because she doesn’t seem to understand how it works.

The Oatmeal used to have a calculator for this very question about how many 6 year olds could you take in a fight. He later changed it to Justin Biebers for obvious reasons.

Can we see her fool around with rings or the pommel horse at some point? Or would that be too humiliating for the entire sport of men’s gymnastics?

THIS COMMENT HAS BREATHED NEW LIFE INTO MY YOUTH-SPORTS VIEWING.

A lot of times when I see a person who’s much shorter than me, I think, “I wonder how many of that person I could take on in a fight and hold my own.” This is usually something I think about at my 6-year old’s soccer games.

She’s just as insufferable as her asshole husband. There’s a reason why he married her instead of just keeping her as arm candy. They’re in sync and she’s just as racist as he is and filled with self-hate. When people give her credit for openly looking miserable around him, remember what she says when she’s allowed to…

Related tangent: If you live in IN, there’s currently no tracking from collection to courtroom and the current kits have to be kept cold. There’s a 2500+ kit backlog.  Furthermore, there are over 1600 kits that are supposedly deemed false or unfounded reporting (a 30% rate). They are trying overhaul the testing and…

Even DNA evidence is useless if the rapist claims it was consensual, or that the victim came on to them in order to frame them or whatever other bullshit people say.

Yeah, what the fuck is she talking about?

I really, really wish they would have asked her to cite an example of what hard evidence of sexual assault would even be because I honestly have no clue.