Pursey Harvin

Not to be pedantic, but the second character you mentioned was actually played by Will Forte! (Who really should get a chance to host sometime, too, because everything he ever did on the show was genius.)

There is a user, @Arguingwithmoron, in the comments posting dead animals, and animal abuse photos. DO NOT CLICK ON THE PICTURES. REPORT AND DISMISS THAT SHIT.

I don't remember any marketing like that. I think I'd remember a Blue Chips-style CRANSTON/GODZILLA poster, because I would have already purchased it and framed it and placed it front and center in my living room.

I Spit on Your Krave

Children of the Corn Pops

I used to work at a mom-and-pop pizzeria that also sold frozen dough balls to other restaurants. The Dough Balls were frozen in a chest freezer set to "Cloud City Carbonite" and had to be individually bagged, and the bags had to be tied. There were always 30 dough balls on a sheet, and about 60 dough balls would fit…

What sucked about it?? It was Godzilla, and he was a fussin' and a feudin.' Worked for me.

You forgot to add "Deadspin reader who is a Cardinal fan, gets to whine in comments about 'being ragged on' again."

And you get to feel superior and write a comment about Deadspin dissing the Cardinals and their fans. So you win, too!

First down: many drinks
Second down: pants
Third down: underwear
Fourth: & inches

This picture *bites knuckle* is makin' *stiffled laughter, long wheeze* my *propeller hat spins uncontrollably* loins tender. *flies into space*

NBA Jams ranked:

Sonics get a pretty good one when Detlef Schrempf comes in for Benoit Benjamin, but your'e right.

Wait, seriously? 'Hack' has been used to describe a terrible reporter forever. Much, much longer than 'hack' had anything to do with busted passwords. "Son" as a verb is bullshit that could only work verbally, and would still be really stupid.

God I hate Poe's Law sometimes.

If you're young enough to wear footie pajamas, you're too young to be talking about dating or getting married. Now, if this had been, "Future Girl Reporter" I could have let it slide.

"Capitalism and freedom begets inequality. That doesn't make it fucking UNFAIR." Congratulations! As that inequality is defined as "an unfair situation in which some people have more rights or better opportunities than other people", you've successfully lived up to your avatar as an amusing idiot who has no idea what…

It does make it unfair when the single best indicator of future success is the socioeconomic status you were born in to. Whether there is a better system can be debated, but the unfairness of our system really can't be.

How to make Chile:

Coco Power was my favorite 80s wrestler.