The first time I ever saw gay porn (I’m a straight female) back in 1988 when I was 26, I was surprised to see that the missionary position is fully possible in gay sexual congress. I’d thought it was doggy or nothing. So porn is educational, kids, and the missionary position, possibly the most vanilla of sexual…

There is no god. We (and when I say “we” I don’t mean myself, but the collective “people”) did this. There is no scenario where this ends well. Ask mid 20th century Germany how it worked out for them.

God doesn’t exists, next question.

Yeah, seriously. I work out not because i believe it to be “hedonism” but because I feel like it’s a chore I have to do if I want to give myself the night of blow, weird sex, and liquors poured on and around my mouth i feel i deserve. Hedonism is a gin martini with a cocaine rim that someone has to hold up to my…

That can’t be right. It’s been at least 8 years, at least, hasn’t it?

Lord help us.

“nothing burger”

“My name is Emily White.”

😞 don’t write comments on Methotrexate day- should read something like “I can’t wait to read Michelle’s book, and I hope she brings it and tells us how she was able to be so strong and serve as a role model by being the most gracious and beautiful First Lady we have ever had.”

Yeah, I agree. It seemed like he was trying to make it right as quickly and clearly as possible.

“Moonlight: Best Picture,” spat Horowitz.

Omg, this reminds me of the craziest fucking lady I ever waited on. So this lady orders a burger and asks for it well done but with absolutely no charring on it. She says if there is any pink or if there is any char on the outside, I will be wearing it. So, I relay this to the cooks, who look at me like I’m crazy.…

My bf’s never complained about a hitachi taint graze.

My man spent about 2 seconds worrying about how it could make me orgasm more efficiently than he could. Then he tried it. Weeks later I had to buy myself a new one because he basically stole it. Still cracks me up.

Puss ≠ pus

I hope this is real and I hope there are other earth’s full of people.

How dare you bring Ivanka into this.

I’d imagine she spent a lot of time away working as well, which would make it harder again. It would be much easier to slip into that “living separate lives” thing if you were spending months away at a time on shoots and publicity trails. In a way, I suspect it’s not monogamy that she (and lots of other actors) have a…