The argument on the way to the rehearsal dinner was priceless. Sabrina was trying to give directions to one of their friends (because it was being held in “her” neighborhood) and Charlie was just being such a passive aggressive asshole to her. Sabrina looked at him and, in an insanely calm voice, just goes “Charlie,…

I summon the Jezzie who is the reason I will never eat pumpkin seeds again.

Listen, she spends an entire song going on and on about how boring and provincial everyone in her town is.

Ha! That last one is like, “did you just touch me? DID YOU JUST. FUCKING. TOUCH ME?!?!”

Grumpy Cat is overrated, Maru is forever.

When my ex applied for visitation of his nine month old son from his first marriage he had to have supervised visitation because his first wife accused him of abuse and drug use. Neither of these were true, but he had supervised visitation for a time as ordered by the court.

I’m forever in the greys but just wanted to say that if he’s passed a drug test, how is he this massive stoner incapable of functioning? Weed stays in your system a long time and pops up on drug tests even months later.

 Newest Calvin Harris track End to the Drama coming to earbuds near you

If I weren’t referencing Moylan it would be lemons! Lemons. LEMONS.

I think their both fantastic actors, and I will watch the shit out of Sherlock, Thor, or anything else they’re in. But given the chance to fuck one of them, I’m going to take a hard pass.

Meh. Pass. Too much dusting. Bring me the next MegaMansion! *clap clap*

Nerd alert: that’s raclette.

when there’s a lull in conversation:
Jen: I’m fine!

The problem with overly sensitive people like you is that one can no longer compliment a woman’s looks.

It’s cute that the poster referred to their post as intelligent.

They’re European. I hear it’s perfectly acceptable for the bride to fuck all of the groom’s friends/relatives over time, as long as she maintains an air of ennui.

I like the cut of your jib.

I find Tiffany’s appearance quite annoying on a visceral level for no rational or discernable reason.