The worst part is when they lecture you through the jar opening process. "Now, see, you want to tap it gently on the counter to break the seal, but not too hard, or it'll break!..."

Things that help me open bottles are essential. I have tiny little lady hands that are prone to tendinitis (there really is a correlation there) so there have been times when I could barely open doors. I live by myself and have a great relationship with my opening devices and step ladder. Neither are very cuddly,…

I do joke with my husband that it's the only reason I keep him around. Although he also screws the damn things back on so tight I need his help in re-opening them. JOB CREATION.

This was me a few weeks ago, only it was a Diet Pepsi, and I didn't want to be that weird girl who asked a guy on the train platform for help. After about 10 minutes, I finally got the damn thing open. FEMINISM.

let us butter crock users pause while the rest of you catch up

ARE YOU ME?! I'm in my early 30s and am only a few years into my makeup life, and I totally feel like I missed that window of being able to practice and look crazy without anyone judging you because you're a 14-year-old child stage. I've watched so many eye makeup tutorials, and it all seems to make sense, but then my…

how much coffee are you drinking? maybe a regular coffee pot would be more efficient

We don't do this because it is taxing, we do this because we must build things.

I have to walk uphill both ways to fill mine

If there is a way to shrink them, sign me up. Mine are really big. But they're also maybe a shade darker than my natural skin tone, which I refer to as wall white. I've often dreamed of getting a breast reduction just so I could have perky B cups with tiny little areole. Sigh. A girl can dream.