It will be insanely, life-alteringly hard and alien at first.

And then you just get used to it, get into a parenting groove, and as kids get older your flexibility slowly but surely comes back. You’ll never be able to just drop it all and jet to Mexico overnight, but you already have dogs so it sounds like you were…

Yeah all the driven people I know are pedantic keyboard warriors.

Oh wait.*

*Don’t bother trying to gotcha me, I never claimed to be driven :)

My 2 year old son still doesn’t call me mommy with any regularity but he sure can mimic every single time I say shit.

Which is a shitload.

Counterpoint: We have a 2 year old who’s only had the sniffles 3 times in his life and it didn’t really require us to do anything but wait for a day or two until it passed. He’s never had an earache, or a fever, never been puke sick, skipped all the oddly-yesteryear sounding early childhood ailments like roseola,…

I find it hilarious the the most vocally anti-children adults are always the ones who act the most childishly themselves. BUT, BUT...I DON’T WANNA!!!!!

I mean, it seems like you and toddlers would get along great, honestly. You can stamp your feet and pout together all the livelong day.

Maybe I can fill you in a little on the other side, here. You say they could have just brought the baby over, but after a night of the baby not falling asleep at a reasonable hour, no...they couldn’t. Not unless you wanted a screaming baby there the whole time, and knowing they’d probably have to leave early and would…

No, they probably can’t, not without major repercussions. Because kids don’t take a hangover day and go easy on parents or disappear for while while they sober up/work off that headache the next morning, and you still have to get up at the ass crack of whenever your children get hungry and complete allllll the…

We had our first at 29 (me) and 28 (husband.) Now at 31 and 30, we’re doing it again. I’m already fearing the mommy thumb and back pain resurgence. My husband is cowering in the corner over all the “accidental” kicks to the groin and clumsy wrestling moves.

Having kids is so physically battering. Our son was born a…

Fucking THIS. On average, the guys I’ve worked with spend 7x the amount of time in the bathroom, playing games and taking their 600 dumps a day because WTF IS WRONG WITH MALE GI TRACTS? And they’re proud of it, too! “I just took a huge dump for a half hour after eating a single piece of lettuce and got paid for it,…

Breastfeeding (well, pumping, we never did get a latch without 75 extra hands and a shield) gave me PPD and made me seriously question wtf I had done in the first 3 months of my son’s life. I quit a week before he turned 4 months old, and overnight everything got so much better. He started sleeping 12 hours straight…

Same exact situation, good luck with #2!

I’m all for bodily autonomy but I’m not planning on divorcing my husband anytime soon and we always discussed having 2, possibly 3 children so if in the middle of TTC# 2 he suddenly ran out and SHUT DOWN THE STUDIO without much discussion I’d be incredibly hurt.

Like, what would…

Yeah well fuck me, because I’m taking both prenatal vitamins and additional B complex while trying to conceive my second child.

After my first was born, my luteal phase decided it wanted to shrink to “probably can’t sustain a pregnancy” levels and within a single cycle of supplementing with the B complex it went back…

Ehn, some people get positives only 8-9 days after ovulation. That’s close enough to one week for me.

OMG this. EVERYTHING YOU DO AS A PARENT IS WRONG FROM THE TIME YOU PISS ON THE STICK. PROBABLY BEFORE. So at some point you just have to accept that you’re a flawed human, weigh your risks, and do what you gotta do.

I tried to BF because it was best, but despite all my efforts it just didn’t work, so then I tried to…

I don’t even bother using the wristband it comes with, I just clip it to my pajama pants and it wakes me up just fine with the vibrate. You just have to reach down and hit the button to shut it off.

I find the wrist trackers don’t track as accurately as the ones I’ve worn on pocket clips.

Same. The daddy daughter dance always creeps me out and it’s so incredibly boring to watch two people slowly meander around a dance floor to what is usually a painfully twee if not flat out gross song.

I only have DD so not quite the same level of boobage, but I imagine this might work for me, though there’d probably be a degree of saggage if the material had a lot of give and I didn’t want to involve some boob tape or something.

You might have had high lipase. The only way to avoid it is to scald the milk before freezing which...yeah if I had high lipase I’d be too lazy for that shit OH NO TERRIBLE MOM ALERT.

My milk actually tasted delicious, too bad I could only make about 1/2-2/3 of what my son needed on a daily basis AT BEST, and that was…

Boob milk, formula, cow’s milk, my son didn’t give a shit as long as his stomach was full. He managed to knock a soda can off a table and possibly drink some sprite at like 6 months old. He lived. He’s healthy.

The way people try to sneer about formula, calling it “artificial feeding” simultaneously pisses me off and…

This. If you’re middle class, educated and white there’s really no choice anymore, you’re OBVIOUSLY going to breastfeed FOR AT LEAST A YEAR and babywear/co-sleep/make all your own babyfood, cloth diaper, etc. And if you don’t, you better have a damn good reason. And “I didn’t want to/X method works better for my…