This is why I desperately want NABISCO to put the oreo filling in an aerosol can like EZCheez. I want to be able to squirt that shit on anything I want. And by "anything," I mean my tongue.

Big-boobed runner here. Underboob sweat is a very real thing. A long run on a hot day involves enough sweat to soak through all the layers of my sports bar and my shirt, and can lead to those tiny heat blisters. But a swipe of my regular antiperspirant (Ban) under my boobs works wonders. For me, it has nothing to do…

Aaaaaand, pretty sure I just stumbled across this guy or at his twin on Tinder. Almost choked on my port. That was terrifying.

I hurt just thinking about it.

I've had the same thought. In fact, the reason I finally signed up for a Kinja account - after being a long-time lurker - was that I read a comment that tickled me so much I just had to see if there was a way to send someone a direct message. Sadly, I no longer remember the comment, the topic, or the commenter.

Here's what really gets me about that first guy: from what I understand, all of your Tinder pics come from your Facebook account. So that guy has a dick pic on FB. Is that a thing people do now? Or am I wrong about Tinder and there's another way to import photos?

I'd probably say "if we're done talking about the match, I'm going to head out. Thanks!" I'd offer a sweet smile then roll my eyes as soon as my back was turned.

Plus, styles and tastes change. So even if you can make two pairs of jeans last 6 years instead of one for three then another for three, you might not want to.

That is my thought, as well. Not to mention, not everyone has the space to house enough clothes to let them "rest." Even if I had triple my wardrobe, I think I would wear the same 7-10 things every season just to not have to think about my outfit every morning.

Already did, hence "last job." :) I now work from home and deal with zero office place shenanigans.

You are so right that I had to scroll back up to see what you were talking about.

I love this gif so much.

if you don't eat it all in one sitting

I thought that was weird, too. I checked the Tehran Times article and it says "rotten meat of dead animals," porcupine being his favorite (and he refuses clean food and water). I think the Jezebel article just uses an awkward paraphrase of a clunky translation.

Are the clean areas under his eyes from tears?

Someone at my last job typed up excruciatingly simple instructions for doing a vlookup, complete with annotated screen shots for every step. I can't tell you how many people came to me, instructions in hand, begging for help because it's so "complicated."

Ugh, yes. I have mystified many people with things like autofill and vlookups. All people who claim to be Excel experts.

I totally thought Fey's dress had flamingoes.

I will gladly hold them for you. In my mouth.

I dunno, I hear you can find her on match.com. You may have a shot.