There are men who’ve learned they can force women—or anyone—to do whatever they want, simply by being relentlessly persistent.

I honestly think that a lot of young men think of sex like being hungry. As in, I’m really hungry and I see you have food over there, could you make me a sandwich? Yes, I know you’re tired and not really in the mood to cook for me but can I please have a sandwich? It’s just two slices of bread with some peanut butter…

YES. I call this “rape by attrition.” There are men who’ve learned they can force women—or anyone—to do whatever they want, simply by being relentlessly persistent. They’re like predators who wound their prey and follow it until it succumbs to exhaustion and blood loss. These fuckers have made passive-aggression work…

He had sex with her not participating body. He pulled her clothes off with no assistance, not one single smile, or kiss. He treated her like a blow up doll.

She said no and froze like a corpse. It’s not like he was special needs. I am sure he gathered she was not into it. He ignored her no and hours of pushing away. Rape is rape and no means no. We shouldn’t have to worry about how to make it easier for the rapist.

I read this dread and horror. This was me, but 14 years old and listening to tapes with a too-experienced-for-16, 16 year old. Reading this, my knees clamped and my stomach knotted and my mouth clenched. I got tired of saying no; he broke me down until I just didn’t consent or actually consent. I also was wearing a…

*hugs*

No. It was rape.

Something sort of similar happened to me, and I’ve always wondered about it. No drawn out negotiations, but I was drunk and didn’t want to and said I didn’t and he just did it anyway, and I let him. I was attracted to him and probably would have had sex with him, willingly, under other circumstances, but at that point…

Ugh. The bit about calling the ex, like asking permission to be admitted to the ex’s “property”.

I’d say - and as you’ve said - legally : no, you weren’t.

She said no repeatedly. She never consented, she never assented (as someone points out in another comment). Lying there and not participating in the sexual encounter is a clear sign of discomfort and not consenting. Rape looks like this too. If she was “being coy” she would have participated or responded to the…

I just sat there and dealt with it. I figured once he saw I’d be as responsive as a corpse, he’d give up.

even if you hadn’t made it clear that you didn’t want to, even if you hadn’t given him multiple reasons why you didn’t want to, even if he thought you were just playing around..

If there is a woman alive who has not had this experience, I’d like to meet her, because she is a rare, rare creature. I’m so grateful to you for sharing your story and elaborating on the complexity of consent. So many people want to make it a black-and-white, yes-or-no issue, and the more people who stand up and say…

Last year I was raped on a date in a similar manner. I kept saying no, that I didn’t want to do this, but the guy kept smiling and saying that if I didn’t take care of him he was going to have to take care of it himself. He was 6'7 and much bigger than me. I think he thought I was playing coy and I’m sure he thought…

I remember teaching this during training at work, and so many of the men just got looks on their faces like "I've done that before."

The author said no many times and never gave consent. This is rape.

I mean, if you watch just this video, it looks like he’s laughing at something someone said to him off-camera and wasn’t paying attention to the proceedings at all.

I’m sorry (not really) but people’s gun-boners in this country are ridiculous. “We don’t have to be a country of fear”? Fear is what’s selling those guns & that’s how the NRA likes it. Sales spike after every mass shooting. No ones trying to take EVERYONE’S guns away. They’re just trying to make it a little harder for…