That’s . . . bad.

Is that backdrop real? It’s amazing.

I had two weird dreams the same night last week. The first I had a roommate who had so many clothes they were in piles everywhere. I had hardly any clothes, and couldn’t find them because they were under her piles of clothes. There was even the risk of her using my clothes. Yuck.

Happy turkey day to you too. Greetings from Edmonton, land of four door pickups, where it’s snowing.

Oh well. At least I can find out if there are significant muscle problems or not (I suspect not). The one I’m going to go to has a good reputation.

Weird. But you know why there are 50 different boner pills and nothing for us. Same reason sexual pain physiotherapy is not covered by provincial health insurance where I am but prostate-related physiotherapy is. (The physiotherapist I was talking to this week was pretty clear that there’s a sex bias in health care…

Is there research? Because a book I read recently on sexual pain talked about proliferation of mast cells in the vestibular area, leading to pain. I don’t even know what mast cells are, but I’m wondering if trauma can lead to increased sensitivity in cells outside the brain, since women who have been sexually abused…

Did you have a yeast infection? An allergic reaction to something? Have your hormones changed? Did you pull a muscle? There are a bunch of things that can trigger secondary dyspareunia. There are a couple of good books (maybe more) with lots of details on all the things that could have gone wrong. Most doctors don’t…

Going to a gyno doesn’t guarantee anything. Very few doctors are well trained in this area.

This needs to be a cross stitch.

You were using it in preparation for inserting dilators? or sex? A gynecologist suggested I use it for sex, and I refused. If I have to use a painkiller for sex there’s no point. (Also, doesn’t it affect the penis?) But I can see using it for dilators. On the other hand she said many women were happy with that…

I tried one with an applicator once and I did it wrong, got it in the wrong place, was unable to reposition it, and had to take it out again right away.

It sounded dismissive to me. It always sounds dismissive to me. Talking about hymens being overrated comes across differently depending on context. Making fun of the myth that all hymens are major obstacles is fine. But people sometimes go to the opposite extreme. And when you are having problems and need good…

You are dumb. If you were a lesbian it would solve all your problems. /s

Also get a mirror and poke around with your fingers until you know the whole area, inside and out, really well.

Dyspareunia is a catch-all term that includes vaginismus. It just means there’s pain. Vaginismus has a psychological component - you really do need to learn how to relax - but there’s more to it than that. Other causes can be largely physical or a mix.

Pornography doesn’t help. It misrepresents sex with respect to both what it tends to be like and how to go about it. But often there are medical problems that have nothing to do with the effects of porn.

Chocolate is high in iron.

Except that hymens vary from person to person, so the idea that hymens are never a problem is as bad as the idea that all hymens require battering rams and bleed copiously. That’s why I want research - you know, hard data. Information about means and standard deviations and skews. So women aren’t told they’re crazy…

You take a pic and post to Facebook? Look, I was a virgin!