so when he came out I really didn't want to see him

Farty Gronk is my new favorite Emmitt Smith saying. And that's a very high bar to clear.

Mebane's belly roll is beautifully hypnotic.

The night is dark and full of marketing errors.

Not knowing how old you are, I'm quite confident that you will too.

It's cool if you Magary hates the Cards.

Americans were introduced to wacky hat-wearing and fingergunz-pointing Australian Rules Football referees and, uh, Denise Austin.

Oh, can he tackle? Because if not, it wouldn't have made a lick of difference.

HIT PUREE!

Can we talk about that Gawker article "Why it's Indefensible to Watch Football."

Tell that to Madison Bumgarner. The poor guy has a 2.98 ERA, 1.09 WHIP in 33 starts, yet only has 18 wins.

The next negative story about the NFL (or any other sports league) that ESPN breaks will be the first in long, long time.

Alton Brown should cook more and host less.

Oh, sweetie...

Every other Cowboy fan you meet is either a douchebag frontrunner or some toothless hick shitfaced on Miller Lite.

too much time in the film room for preseason games.

So, you're not leaving Deadspin as promised?

Make me sandwich.

Stop. Don't. Come back.