So this is basically like the pseudo-feminist 2014 version of Gerlado opening Capone's secret vault, yes? A whole lot of build up and then a whole lot of nothing.

I don't feel one way or the other about most of the characters on New Girl, but I love Schmidt.

I think this should count too.

Funny story: the Friday before Christmas Guiliana and Bill were getting off the elevator as I was getting on at work, which was weird because I work in just a random office building in downtown Chicago. She was wearing sunglasses inside on a cloudy day. He looked exactly like he does on television and was polite and…

Sure, go ahead.

Yeah, and that's not what I implied.

Let's us here talk about Duck Dynasty, but first, let's ask ourselves why any of us were surprised, much less outraged, that a bunch of sketchoid Christian duck hunters in Louisiana who could pass as ZZ Top stand-ins have homophobic or deeply ignorant racist views. I mean really, it's like you've never seen rednecks…

I remember there was a revealed blind item, I think on Crazy Days and Nights, about how it took Carrie Underwood six hours to film one 30-second commercial because she kept forgetting her (very few) lines and when she did remember them she would flub them. She never should have been cast.

He actually played her college-aged son. I have to say, he was pretty cute.

Actual conversation I had with my mom when I was home for Thanksgiving:

Ladies, stop being so competitive and catty with one another.

The internet is gonna be pissed when it finds out that Joan Rivers is picking a fight with its girlfriend.

OMG, I love babies with big heads. I don't trust babies with small heads.

I love this story because it makes my mom sound like a burnout who drives a van with a wizard airbrushed on it. She once very earnestly said to me, "I have a hard time deciding who has a better voice: Axl Rose or Steve Perry from Journey." Ultimately she decided Steve Perry because she said Axl tries too hard.

I really, really avoid hanging around people who are perpetually angry. They attract the worst kind of spirits, and the ghosts they carry with them tend to hang around long after they've left. Vindictive, cruel and petty people are their own kind of beacons for spirits, and they seem to form a sort of subconscious…

This reminded me of what the girls on Go Fug Yourself wrote about her back in 2006:

In all honesty, there is a part of me that loves this — because it’s short and shiny and very Viva Las Vegas, and that’s fun. I don’t even mind the tights. But I hate her hair, and I hate that she seems to think she’s actually Edie…

I was not aware that there are still Joe Rogan fans, let alone superfans.

To quote Michael K from D Listed: "That fuckery train had two conductors."

I want the old hippie to be Roger Sterling.

So terribly sorry for having offended you. My point was that if the sound of gunshots was something she was at one point used to, then I don't find it that odd that she might not be freaked out by them. Comforting is a terrible word choice, but it's clearly a sentiment that other people occasionally feel, even if they…