I dunno... maybe she just shouldn't have swallowed that IUD in the first place.

I feel like CPAC would be the perfect place to don some khaki shorts and stock up on pencils and little notebooks and go Jane Goodall on these creatures. I can just imagine hiding in a corner behind a potted plant, scribbling notes as I observe these majestic specimens in their natural habitat.

So, in that pic of Phyllis and David Vitter, which one do you think is wearing the diapers? Both, maybe?

I was once at Amsterdam Falafel, coincidentally during a CPAC lunchbreak or something. There I am—21 year old college kid—in line with a bunch of white dudes in suits and flag lapel pins. I didn't know it was CPAC, so when the dude behind the counter asks me if I'm in town for the conference, I say what conference, he…

You're joking about this, but I'm from Texas and one of our GOP Congressclowns (Steve Stockman) actually had a similar comment on his campaign bumper stickers in 2013: IF BABIES HAD GUNS THEY WOULDN'T BE ABORTED.

I pray that some day "How is babby formed?" will not make me laugh but until that day, LOL.

I bet you check out 13-year-old girls all the time.

So my bf is thinking about grad school in Texas and he asked me "what do you think you'll want to do if we go there."

I feel the same about the Paterno case. Sandusky was a sick fuck (which doesn't excuse what he did), but Paterno KNEW ABOUT IT AND COVERED IT UP ANYWAY. That's evil. I'm not one for biblical hyperbole, but that's straight up evil.

As a teacher, I really don't understand administrators and other educators who cover up for child abusers. We have a responsibility to protect our students. If the reputation of your school is more important than the kids in said school, you're a shit educator and s shit person.

AUTUMN FOR DICTATOR

These girls make me want to go back and do middle school right.

If this level of harassment is perfectly legal, then what's good for the goose must be good for the gander. Were I in Ireland, I think I'd follow some of these sadists home and yell disgusting things at them with a megaphone. I'd follow them to their jobs and trail them around with placards. I'd have blown-up signs of…

Ugh. Total enemabag moves.

Careless Whisper or GTFO

All right, no. I am throwing the flag on the play, I am hitting the brakes, I am pulling the emergency cord. There is no way I am allowing somebody this stupid to have a position of power in society, Goddammit. THIS IS IT. THE HILL I DIE ON, AND ITS BANNER CARRIES THE LEGEND "VAGINA CONNECTED TO STOMACH, RIGHT?"

This is why I can't eat cheesecake; it goes straight to my vagina.

So, his Wiki page has been updated with this important life discovery:

Just like the old saying goes: "A way to a man's heart is through his stomach. A way to a woman's stomach is through her vagina. Or was it heart? I can't remember. Anyway, vagina."