Oh please. As if your self-indulgent "they must cancel the game!" noodling below is some fucking public service. Did you get any rugburns setting a new world record in high-horse mounting there, Gandhi?

Who typed this for you? Can you read? I'm making fun of Matt Cassel and Brady Quinn for being shitty quarterbacks who are inaccurate conveyors of projectiles.

Why, you think they'll have been resurrected by then?

That's not even part of the joke, dingus.

Ha!

Authorities have not confirmed the identity of the player involved, but we can be certain it wasn't one of the team's quarterbacks, or he'd have missed and struck an opposing player instead.

The Bronx is Bingeing

Mayo League

Bang the Drum Slowly with Stripped Chicken Bones

That is fucking great.

That is hilarious. +1

This made me laugh. +1

Ha!

OK, but surely we can forgive him for being out of step with the feelings of the rest of the public, since he has to take three for every one of ours.

+1

Pulling your star players is one thing, but if you really want to piss David Stern off, swipe the phone book off the driver's seat of his car.

"That's my final word on the subject, Coach Popovich. Now get the hell out of here."

Come on, Tom. This is incomplete analysis at best. David Stern doesn't just have a problem with honesty - he has a problem with honesty and with reaching the lever on the toaster without a boost.

Sonofabitch. That's good. +1

[sniffs]