This is great. +1

Wonderful. +1

Oh man, this is great.

That's funny. +1

Ha!

So good. +1

[rubs the lotion on its skin]

I was taking the trash to the curb in the dark, yawned on my way back, and there it was, fluttering against the roof of my mouth. Horrifying. I haven't completely worked out all the particulars, but I'm definitely never opening my mouth again.

Here's what's a raw deal, friends: yawning. Well, OK, yawning's not all that bad. The bad part is when an enormous fuzzy moth flies into your open mouth as you do.

[dying]

I love this.

[deadspin.com]

Heh, yours is better anyway. Why, it didn't even require a shamefaced explanation!

See, the joke here is that the New York Mets, being a broke clusterfuck rendered insolvent by the Madoff affair, are desperate for a better offense, or "bats," which is of course a word that can also refer to small flying mammals, and that they are too incompetent to know the difference!

Oh, that's good. +1

Meanwhile, in Flushing Meadows, NY...

Well, hey. I'm not going to agree with you - and I still suspect there's a lot of creative interpretation and best-case-scenario-ing that goes into reaching your conclusion - but you've argued your point with conviction and in a not-full-of-crap way, and I can respect that.

But again, this seems like a straw man argument. So far as I know, it doesn't have to have been a grand, agreed-upon conspiracy to cover things up: it could just as easily be that a bunch of people selfishly chose inaction over action, as people do every day - and if that's the case, they're still responsible for the…

Ha!